Chit Chat-3

Me: Hey! You there? ☺️

He: Yup. What Happened? 🤔

Me: Nothing. ☺️

He: Enjoying the food at home?

Me: Yeah, mom made Dosa, Sambhar and chutney! 😛

He: Even I want to eat Dosa. 😭

Me: I know how to make Dosa. I’ll make it for you next time.

He: Yay!!!!😍

Me: Plus my mom makes this really incredible peanut chutney. I’ll ask her for the recipe and we’ll try to make that too.

He: Idiot, that’s coconut chutney not peanut.😑

Me: Mental, there are all kinds of chutney: coconut, peanut, mix. You have limited knowledge regarding South-Indian dishes so shut up!😤

He: Okay ji.😳

Me: And my mom’s Sambhar is awesome too. She makes it differently, like a south Indian dish with a northern twist. I’ll learn to make that too.

He: Hmm… Great!😊

Me: Btw I was horny.😈

He: What!!! When?😯

Me: When I texted Hey! You there?🙈

He: Then?🤔

Me: Then we started talking about Dosa, sambhar and chutney.🙄

He: And now you are horny for food.😝

Me: hehe…yes.😂

He: haha 😂

Me: We are a weird couple.

He: I know. ❤️

*************************************************************************************

(Chit-Chat: A series where I record conversations between me and my guy. Read the previous ones here. )

Advertisements

To Be A Woman…

I think I need to write today,

For I saw a woman with a broken spine,

And an unsound mind,

Talk about her daughters,

Who were beaten up for dowry.

I think I need to write today,

For I saw poverty, in its feminine form,

Passing on from generations,

Women going through cycles of abuse,

Neglect and exploitation

Only to be reminded that they are nothing

but machines to produce children.

I think I need to write today,

For there is nothing else I can do,

To reassure a woman and a mother,

That there is light at the end of this tunnel,

For I see no light.

It is a dark world out here,

This is no place to be a woman.

**********************************************************************************

Today was one of those several days when I was again left speechless, helpless and just disappointed with the human race. Growing up in a small town and having most of my relatives in villages I have heard of several stories where women were beaten up, by mother-in-laws, alcoholic husbands, their own sons, daughter-in-laws etc. I have heard of women giving birth in jungles. I have heard of women losing their babies or dying themselves while giving birth because the roads were blocked and the hospitals were kilometers away. Many of these women are my distant sisters, aunts, nieces, women I have known.

And countless others are suffering every minute, every second of the day.

I met a woman today, in her late fifties; she fell down from her terrace and broke her spine. The family being poor kept her at the village for a week, hoping her to improve on her own. Finally a relative who is slightly better off asked them to come to the city and see a doctor. The doctor wanted to conduct an immediate spinal cord surgery. All relatives collected money and somehow the surgery was done but it would take years for her to do anything on her own, plus they can’t afford physiotherapy. Plus, the woman doesn’t remember anything beyond that incident. She is having some trouble with her nervous system.

Turns out she had some mental health issues right from the time her first two daughters were married off because both were harassed for dowry and beaten up by their husbands and mother-in- laws. She blamed herself and their poverty for the condition of her daughters. She was too scared to marry off the third one but her condition improved when the third daughter found a good family and was happy. Slowly even the first two daughters were doing okay (which means gave birth to sons and the physical abuse stopped)

Finally when all  the things were looking to fall into place, baaaaam, she fell down the terrace.

Now the third (happily married) daughter is looking after her. The other two daughters aren’t yet informed that their mother is injured (for they won’t be allowed to see her anyway so why trouble them). She has no sense of the present world; she just stares at people, talks absurdly, claps midway, and lies down on her bed.

And in this one family I saw so many wrongs I could do nothing about:

*A woman in need of physical and mental health facilities but too poor to afford it.

*Woman who needed to give birth to four children, 3 elder girls and the youngest boy, (well, the youngest is always a boy.)

*Women beaten up for dowry.

*Women having no rights over their bodies or any choices (not even a choice to see their ailing mother), accepting domestic abuse as their destiny.

* Women treated as nothing but a baby making machine (a son making machine more specifically)

And what am I doing?

I am writing a blog because my privileged, upper caste, middle class, highly educated and qualified ass is too lucky to rant about these things on the internet.

I feel disgusted with myself.

I don’t wish to belittle the troubles everyone faces at different points of time in their lives but don’t you think all this is just too much for a single person? And why do such things happen in this world? Why aren’t we concentrating on humanity above everything else?

The world is just too disappointing. Especially for a woman.

The Mandatory Birthday Post

When my sister called in today to ask if I am excited for my birthday, I told her no one likes to celebrate old age. Well, I used to be excited (which is a huge understatement) for my birthday until I turned twenty five. Now, this day just reminds me of how I am getting older every moment with almost none of my dreams looking to materialize in real life. The only unique thing about this birthday of mine is that I am sick since last few weeks and would spend my day sleeping and watching random videos.

I don’t like the depressing tone this post has attained so I would like to write about the things I did achieve since the time I turned twenty five. These aren’t great achievements in monetary/ professional fronts but have actually helped me in certain inexpressible ways.

  1. Ever since I turned eighteen I was very confident that I would never learn cooking, like never ever in my lives. Any day I entered kitchen I either broke or burned something, and thus my mom had pretty much debarred me from the kitchen. However in the past two years, I have not only learned to cook but I enjoy it. I have made chicken dishes, Chinese food, local pahadi food from scratch, and can pretty much cook anything (thanks to Youtube).
  2. I was a Shopaholic, like mad about buying clothes, shoes, bags during my college days, especially with the extra stipend I was getting during my PG. And I used to buy useless things; clothes I would never be comfortable wearing, shoes that hurt, and cosmetics I would never touch etc. I have now controlled my shopping urge. From being called a wasteful spender to pretty much being called a miser I have come a long way.
  3. Right from childhood, I never hesitated to help anyone with what I had, money, food etc except clothes. I associated memories with the clothes I wore and could never give them away even if I knew someone needed them. I don’t do that anymore. Last year I donated a number of clothes to little girls around my place and it felt good. Someday, if I become able enough to help more people in any way I can, I surely would. It somehow fees like my calling.
  4. I have had acne all my life. There was a time when my only goal in life was to wake up one day and see a spotless face in the mirror. I have struggled to accept my face the way it is almost my entire adult life. I have let acne run my life, like literally missing meeting friends, attending parties, events, etc because of how ugly I looked. However, slowly I am coming to terms with it. I used make up for the first time last year as I didn’t want myself to get depressed over the disheartening taunts of my relatives. But make up just made me feel more inauthentic. I never used it again. Random people in metro comment on my face and it does hurt me more than it should but I am getting better. There are people in the world who have so many things to worry about than some useless skin disorder. I can live with it.
  5. I have tried to improve my lifestyle in recent times. I mostly eat healthy. I am pretty sure that I am over my soft drink addiction and I have tried cutting down usage of ecologically harmful products. I wash my face with honey instead of face wash. I wash my clothes with soapnuts (reetha) instead of detergent. I try to buy organic and eco-friendly products wherever possible, especially from micro or small village industries. It not only helps me to lead a healthy life but also helps small farmers or innovators in certain ways.
  6. Last but not the least; I have learned to be happy. Contrary to how my blog sounds like, I am not that much of a depressed person. There was a time back in college, when I was too angry on people, on my parents, on myself for how life turned out for me even though it wasn’t half bad as it is now. I have controlled my anger to a great extent. I do have episodes of anger /depression/crying a few times even now but I calm down sooner and I don’t brood about LIFE the way I used to. I am okay.
  7. Oh…. how can I forget, I even learned to change diapers, not just filled with pee but poop too. This has to be my greatest achievement especially as I have no intention to be a mother ever. My mom still can’t believe that I cleaned my potty smeared nephew with my bare hands.
nephew

He seems pretty happy with me!!!

Well, I started writing this yesterday and my birthday will be over in another hour. 31/01/2018 was so different than the day I imagined it to be around a decade ago but what good it would be it life was so predictable!

To many more unpredictable, mysterious years…let’s see where life takes me!!!

birthday

Tu kisi rail si guzarti hai…

Tu kisi rail si guzarti hai,

Mai kisi pul sa thartharata hun…

Tu bhale ratti bhar na sunti hai,

Mai tera naam budbudata hun…

Kisi lambe safar ki raahon main,

Tujhe alaav sa jalata hun..

***

Rough English Translation:

“You pass by like a train,

I shudder like a bridge under it.

Even though you don’t listen to me a bit,

I keep murmuring your name.

On a long journey,

I light up your memories (to keep me warm) ”

***

What a lovely song this is, with such marvellous lyrics. ( From the movie Masaan.) 

What Do You Seek…

What do you see,

in the vastness of the universe?

Do you look out for hope, faith

or money?

Or for the fireflies 

lighting their bodies 

in the dark corners of the forest?

Do you believe in magic

or in the chemical called 

Love?

Do you want to get lost

Or to find yourself 

in the face of defeat?

Do you wait,

for the rain to cleanse you

or do you drench yourself,

in the sorrow of your own tears?

What do you seek, 

from the universe,

The pain of discipline,

or the agony of regret?

***

2018: The Beginning

When I was home in the last few months, I went through my old diaries, the first being as old as 15 years. Somehow, preteen Mona chose 2018 as the year she would finally settle down. She had written down every thing she would want to have by the year 2018. She had dreams of being a good looking doctor (influenced by a medical drama on TV) , working in a big city, and even being married. She had even decided the names of her future kids.

Present Mona is laughing right now, realizing that 2018 is an hour away and none of those dreams came true. And how she’s no where close to that ‘settle down’ phase. And also a little worried that she has forgotten the names of her unborn children.

Well, I would like to tell my 12 year old self is that even though none of those plans worked out, life is fine. And right now, even being okay is okay. If one dream fizzles out, you can always dream again. And even if life doesn’t make any sense right now, someday it will. There have been lots of regrets, heartbreaks, failures all these years but every single moment has only led you to your true self. You aren’t successful in societal terms, but after years of being lost, you are finally getting to know yourself & your true desires, and even though you have nothing, you aren’t as insane as you were a few years ago.

Everyday is a new beginning. Keep moving on…

Happy New Year to my WordPress Family. May your year be filled with laughter and magical moments. I hope you visit places you have always dreamed of, kiss someone you find adorable. I hope you find courage to live your dreams, make mistakes and learn from them. I hope you sing, and dance with joy. I wish life showers you with wonderful surprises. Have a great year. 😊

PicsArt_12-31-11.42.47.jpg

 

***