THINGS TO FEEL HAPPY ABOUT: MISSING YOUR CONVOCATION

31st august has finally arrived. For me it’s a normal day but for thousands of my batch mates its graduation day. So they’ll be in college collecting their degrees- the phal of 4 years of hard work (masti, time pass, vellapanti, whatever you would like to call it)  while I am sitting here and blogging. 😦

As a matter of fact, I am not even feeling that miserable. It’s kind of okay. So here it goes- my list of all those things to feel happy about missing your convocation-

  1. First one is surely economical; I’ve saved a sum of almost 20k. This would have been the minimum required amount for a round trip to Bangalore plus stay at Bangalore. My parents must be proud of me today. I’ll get the degree by post without burning a hole in their pocket. 🙂
  2. I need not listen to the lengthy, boring or worse kannada speeches. 😉
  3. I can do some more productive in all that time I would have wasted there like studying or watching movies.
  4. I need not answer the rapid fire question rounds from my teachers/friends/enemies.

–  Still at home ah?

–  What do you do all day at home?

–  Didn’t get job ah?

–   Got admission anywhere?

5. I’ve decided not to use facebook until all this graduation day crap is history for everyone. So you see I save a lot of       time I would have otherwise wasted in aimless facebooking.

6. My best friend from college is also not attending the convocation. We were together since the very first day in college and we both are not attending the official last day of college. This proves our long lasting friendship. 🙂

7. It would have sucked to leave Bangalore one more time. 😦

8. I don’t get to hear,’ you know I got into this this university’; ‘you know my dad is sending me to the US’ kind of crap. So I am practically saved of all the ’post convo depression’.

9. Most importantly I get to write a new post on this topic…!!! 😎

So this is my list of all the things I could think of. If you have any more reasons you can always comment and I’ll add it to the list.

At the end of the day, yes it does feel bad to miss your own convocation but right now I am just thinking that whatever happens ,happens for good…. 🙂

Super Sweet Blogger award

So i got nominated for my 1st blogger award i.e the Super Sweet Blogger award by Amyth and that is so sweet of him. Its not even a week since i started blogging and he has been so appreciative of everything i am writing here. You’ve truly encouraged me to write more. THANK YOU.

i cant even think of writing poems like you do. still would like to dedicate these lines for you..promise me you wont laugh.

” Its a myth that the world is full of bitterness,

because i’ve found someone as sweet as you.

With chemicals in your genes you are bound to be restless,

Thank you for appreciating me the way you do”

hehe….the poet in me give up!! sorry, cant write more… 😦

so now the very very tough 5 questions…hmmmm….

1) Cookies or Cake?

Cookies i guess.

2) Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla has always been my favourite.

3) What is your Favorite Sweet Treat?

Not made yet.

4) When do you crave sweet things the most?

The only time i do crave sweet things is during exams.

5) If you had a sweet nickname what would it be?

I already have a sweet nickname, its mona…:-)

So now moving on to ‘breaking the rules’ part. i dont want to nominate anyone right now…well i am not being rude or selfish here…its just that i dont know a lot many people here right now… may be after some time i’ll nominate more then a dozen people for this sweet award.

Sorry for that!!! 😦

here’s the logo….thank you once again Amyth… 🙂

Confusion-Part 2…haha

hamesha aisa kyun hota hai ki aap jis cheej k peeche bhagte ho wo cheej aapse or door bhagti hai….??? why are we never happy with what we have. Or is it only in my case?  There was a time i wanted to get out of bangalore. and on my last day there this was my facebook status….

“exactly 7 years ago i came to bangalore & i hated this city ryt frm d moment i stepped in…but 2day on my last day here i’ve realised that more den ne thing or ne one m gonna miss this city…days at MEG,11th or 12th ki masti,tuitions at indiranagar,brigade MG me akele ghoomna…shoppping at commercial…ulsoor n sankey lake mai jake apne gum bhulana…colg & hostel…so many ppl came into my lyf n so many left it…in the end all i’ve left wid are memories…good bye bangalore….:(”

 

I miss that place…i miss bangalore rains, i miss that independent life…:-( i want to go back but i cant.
31st august is my convocation day. And i am NOT going. I cant wear that black graduation dress i always dreamt about.
what is most dramatic is that i’ve missed all important days of college life.
i missed the orientation for freshers, i missed the department farewell and now i am going to miss the convocation!!!
Why does this always happen to me???
Is this because of my karma or my kismet??
i dont know whether i’ll ever have the opportunity to wear that black graduation gown. May be if i do post graduation.  Well that is what i’ve thought about but when has life been the way i planned it to be. Its always been the opposite.
As for now i can only hope it to turn out OKAY. I dont want huge amount of money, a lavish lifestlye or anything. I just want to be happy. If god cant give me what i want He can at least teach me to be happy with what i have. Is that a lot to ask for???????

MAY BE….

May be it isn’t over yet,
May be its just because we haven’t met.
May be you’ll believe that I am right,
May be this is not the end, just another fight.
May be this isn’t what it seems to be,
May be every heartbeat reminds you of me.
May be you’ll look at me again and make me smile,
May be that would be the day I’ll walk down the aisle.
May be someday you’ll hold my hand again,
May be for once you’ll miss that kiss in the rain.
May be you’ll think of me when you listen to a love song,
May be for once you’ll admit that you are wrong.
May be this is just a bad phase,
May be in future we’ll have brighter days.
May be I’ll wake up and you’ll hold me tight,
May be you’ll say it’s a bad dream baby, everything is all right!!

To be or not to be a biotech engineer…

It was in 2008, I took the decision to join B.E Biotechnology. The only reason I did this was because I didn’t get into medical. My dreams of being a doctor were shattered. I was a hurt teenager. I had my own fears, peer pressure or whatever you would like to call it. And here in India you’ve only 3 options- either you are a doctor, or an engineer or you are nothing, especially if you belong to a middle class family. So the love of wearing an apron prompted me to join biotech. “If I couldn’t be a doctor I could at least wear an apron”-   yes, that’s what I thought. I know I was dumb but that is what an 18 year old is supposed to be- reckless, stubborn. And later when I joined college I realized I wasn’t the only one. There were so many students like me who joined biotech only because they didn’t get into medical. Anyways later, we all moved on. College was fun, engineering was easy. Just study the night before exam and your job is done. Adding to that our college was autonomous. Getting an A was easier in every respect. We didn’t have to work hard for it. Our parents were happy seeing our 9 point scores and we were happy too- we had everything, marks, friends, independence.

Time passed and we were in 5th semester. One day our college organized a talk on “higher studies in the field of biotech” a senior from our college was the speaker. She had done her master’s from johns Hopkins University and now was working in a well reputed company. That day she told us about GRE.  Now that was a new word for me. She told us about the exam, all the procedures, SOP, scholarship etc. I was shocked. I mean I knew people go abroad and study but I never knew about these specific exams and moreover I never really thought about it. Adding to my surprise was the fact that most of my classmates knew about it. Infact many of them were preparing for it, few even had their exam dates with them.

Now there are 3 categories of students in a biotech class-

First, people who join biotech consciously with knowledge of the scope and future prospects and have ‘rich’ dads.

Second, people who join just to get degree and are willing to join any field after that (read IT) and earn money.

Third, people who are loyal to BT, want to study further but are still sleeping and have ‘not so rich’ dads.

Obviously, I and my friends fall into the 3rd category. It’s not like you don’t get jobs anywhere. Like in our college everyone does get placed but only in IT companies. No core company ever hires a graduate student. Even if they do they’ll pay you so less, you won’t even be able to pay your rent.

So the option left for us is- study in India.  And India mai competition tough hai boss!!! I am not saying studying abroad is easy. I’ve seen my friends struggling a lot for all the procedures, SOPs and visa problems. Now to do M.tech or MS in India and earn a reasonable amount of money and respect, you’ve to study almost 12 subjects thoroughly and qualify GATE. Not just qualifying, you’ve to score well. And the way I’ve done my engineering I know how difficult it is to answer the in depth MCQs.

So here I am sitting at home, struggling with all those subjects I studied a night before exam. Biology is endless. You study one thing and you confuse yourself with 1000 more. Adding to that when you see the facebook updates of your classmates entering the top universities in UK, USA, or Germany, life do seem to be unfair.

I am not discouraging anyone to join biotech. I just don’t want to see anyone in a condition I am right now. Biotech is interesting, there is so much to know and achieve but the way is difficult. Don’t be a fool like me and waste an year of your life. Plan your career in advance. Think about everything, your interest, your potential, your financial condition and then decide.

I could have thought about it 4 years back, dropped one year then, study and I could have been a doctor. I didn’t have courage to struggle then, thus I am struggling now. I can’t go back in time and change my decision. I have no other option but you may have a chance and the time now. It goes not just for your career but for every dream you have ever seen. Never let life close the door of opportunities for you. Never let fate decide what you get in life. You could be a creator of your own destiny, just believe in yourself. I am trying to change myself, I hope you’ll try to do that too…

Have fun…all the best!!!!

CONFUSED!!!

I am totally confused. I am reading a lot of blogs right now and I’ve no idea what I m going to write about.

Every time  I read a new blog I want to write like that. I am so lost here. I don’t know what I am gonna do.

The worst part is I am spending a lot of time here. Gosh!!this is so  addictive. And that  i am not studying. and as I’ve already said the only way i can change my stupid life is by studying and qualifying an exam named GATE. Not just qualifying it but getting an all India rank under 100 which by my standards seem impossible.

I am so frustrated right now…I dont know what to do with my life. I started blogging to relieve myself, to make a note of what i am doing and what i am not but instead of that i am getting confused again.

My life has always been like this.

I was confused when i finished school and took a decision which changed my life. I am confused now when I’ve finished college. I am even confused about what to write in my blog. WHY????

The thing is, i always had big dreams and i never took any steps to achieve them. Whenever i see someone getting recognized or someone living his/her dream i envy them. I always wish to be someone else. I was always a dreamer not a doer. I look for motivating quotes, i read inspiring books but i never follow them. And i know this life i have now is the outcome of my mistakes yet again, i do nothing to change it.

And i dont know why i am like this. Why am i so lazy to take steps, to achieve something i wish for?

I am looking for answers to this question and its been 7 yrs…..

7  years of breathing but not living,

7  years of failing and never rising up,

7  years of sorrow and regrets,

7  years of planning without success,

7 years of struggle without progress!!!

Yet i dream of having a great life some day. Even when i am depressed i do hope of a bright future. Sometimes i do laugh at my own dreams. Dreaming to travel the whole world someday  when my parents dont even allow me to go to the market alone, dreaming to get 1st rank in GATE when i haven’t even finished one subject properly, Dreaming to get the love of my life when in reality we could never be together. But that is what dreams are for. They are not real (not for me at least 😉 ) May be someday they’ll come true for me too…if not i can at least smile for what nonsense i thought about. Life is always better with a smile. And i think i look pretty awesome when i smile.

AWAY FROM YOU….

When I am away from you…

I am like a snow flake, which melts on its way.

I am lost in your memories, there is nothing to say.

You make me smile, you make me wonder,

I am like the dew, to light which surrender.

The wind whispers your name to me,

is that your way to remind me of u?

 I see you here when you are not,

is that your way to make me fall in love more?

You say you love me a million times,

You know things like those sounds so nice.

The songs I listen, the air I breathe, the things I see,

They all have you in one or the other way,

Whatever you do, however you stay,

I love you more with each passing day!!

THIS WAY TO LOVE

Being with you I’ve learnt to live,

To smile, to cry, to forget & forgive.

The future no one knows, I have ceased to think..

We are on this journey, every day a new beginning..

At the end of this road we might not be together..

I am happy with the path, we have memories to gather.

So don’t you worry at all..

Just remember the promise I made last fall..

I got roles to play, there’s so much on my mind..

But I’ll never leave our love behind..

There might be road blocks, no other way to go..

But for me every other way is away from u..

There might be rains, strong winds may blow..

But at the end of each dark night, our love will glow.

Together we’ll walk, either fast or slow.

Without you there’s no way I’ll try,

Walking alone and u know d reason why..

Because…

I’ve learnt as moments passed by..

To smile and to cry,

To forget & forgive,

From you only I’ve learnt to live….!!!

INTRO

There’s an intro for everything…whether its ur new day in college or job…whether u r writing an article or an answer in ur exam sheets..so this is an intro for my blog…hmm so here i am..my 2nd attempt in writing a blog…last time i deleted it..hopefully i wont this time..:)

so wat is this all about…???its abt life…a life i live…and moreover a life i wud lyk to live…its abt love..d one i have and the one i wud love to have..abt dreams,aspirations,confusions,hopes and karma…its a blend of everything…

the main reason i am writing this is for myself..i dont know if anyone wud ever read this or not but atleast i wud read it…think abt the things i can do..or the things i cud have done…i love writing and for a long tym i stopped doing that…nw that i’ve loads of time aftr finishing college and being unemployed i cud use this as a way to pass my time n infact learn frm evrything i hv written…

so this is it for 2day…i hope to write more n more,i hope to b happy,i hope to liv…i hope and that is what means a lot to me ryt nw…:)