I am WRITING!

When I started this blog about 7 weeks ago I never really thought anyone in this world is ever going to read it. On my second day here, I wrote my first poem and the very next day when I logged in, I saw a mark like a star on the top. I had no idea what it was till I clicked on it and then what I saw was a very sweet surprise. Someone had actually liked my post. I can’t express the joy I felt that time, I was truly very happy.

And that’s how the journey started, and today I’ve more than 90 followers all around the world.

So, when did all this writing start? I think it started the day I was born. I inherited the genes from my mother who herself is a great writer, a hell lot better than me. You know, there is a ritual followed in India when a baby is 6 months old and is fed on something grainy like rice, dal for the first time which is called ‘annprashan’ here. In our ‘pahadi’ culture, there is one more thing that is done that day. Many things like gold, money, food, pen etc are spread out in front of the baby and then he/she is asked to touch one of those things. It is said, whatever the baby picks up, decides what he/she will  be grow up to be. For instance, if a baby picks up money, then it is said he’ll be very rich.

No prizes for guessing I picked up a pen.

I started writing when I was about 12 years old but the real feelings started pouring in when I was about to leave for Bangalore. And as I left my friends, family, those mountains behind, all my feelings came out in the form of words. When I started my life in Bangalore, the most difficult part was my inability to speak English. Though I knew the language, I just couldn’t communicate. No one who hasn’t himself faced this problem cant understand my pain. I was the only one talking and replying in Hindi when my entire class knew only two languages- English or kannada. But, then there was a day when my essay was read aloud in front of the the whole class by my English teacher. And I regained my lost confidence, my writing brought me into the main league.  I scored a 90 in my English board exam which was way better than most of my classmates.

With time, this love for writing grew as I discovered a whole new world of English novels in my brother’s cupboard. It was new for me; I had never read a novel before. And then I found a new hobby, I started reading. I read Shantaram, Maximum city , Five point someone, Memoirs of a Geisha, hiding them below my chemistry and physics books. I was caught many times by my mother but I didn’t give up. I read different stories, different authors, and I loved them all.  I also read a hell lot of newspapers. And this habit of reading helped me to write more. I do have a limited vocabulary but it doesn’t limit me to write more.

And so I wrote diaries, finished one, wrote another, and it continued till I fell in love. Yes, I stopped writing after that, except that one diary I wrote for him to gift him on his birthday. A diary filled with love, with our story, with our memories, which was never appreciated by him (how can someone be so cruel?). Well after almost 3 years I fell out of love (how funny that sounds now), and started this blog. Surprisingly, I started writing poems and people appreciated me. I mean, I was shocked to read when some kind fellows called me a poetess. What an honour it was, and that too these were the very first poems I wrote in my life.

And now, every day when I wake up, I’ve a reason to be happy, the likes, the comments, the follows, make my day beautiful.

I won’t lie, there were times I thought of giving up my life. I had nothing to feel good about it  but not anymore.

I’ve found a whole new passion to live my life. And this passion is called writing.

I don’t know if I write well or not but I write.

I don’t know what I am going to write until I pick up a pen and start.

When I think of writing a story, I end up writing a poem.

I don’t know, whether people actually like what I write here or they just click that like button out of a sense of duty or something.

I now know, why I stopped writing when I fell in love, that’s because I lost my soul to someone I thought to be my soul mate, till he proved me wrong.

And now when I am writing again, I’ve found my soul, I’ve found myself.

If anyone ever asks me what writing is for me, I’ll have only one answer to that.

Writing for me is, ME.

And, I AM WRITING.

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34 thoughts on “I am WRITING!

  1. Mona there is nothing known as good writing or bad writing. like no art is good or bad. every line, every word comes straight from the heart and that is neither good nor bad. it becomes a memory. a memory of a time when the writer felt a certain way and wrote this down. one my not feel the same again but that very moment the writer felt that way. writing, like art isnt meant to be compared. for all possible art forms are beautiful, and all possible artists have beautiful minds.

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    • See that’s what i was saying.. i can never ever write a comment like that. Well, i wasn’t comparing, its just that i dont think i can do anything well ( all time low self esteem), it’s more of a personal problem you know. I know art can never be compared, i like every written word except mine. I write everything that comes to my mind, this is one place i can never lie. But i find myself lacking somewhere, and i dont know where.

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      • it comes with time. i started bloging for similar reasons and after i got over my issues my posts became better over time. a blog in itself is a great venting tool and i think thats the best part about blogs. people write what they feel and they dont care if it sounds good or bad. that makes it more personal and more real if u ask me. stick to ur own style and one can always seek inspiration from others and smooth out those rough edges with time 🙂 ur on the right track. just keep going…

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  2. We girls are so similar, have been through the same situations. Even I started writing when I moved to Bangalore for my Engineering, Even I wrote a diary (which has the memories of our 4 years) which was never appreciated by him. I know it hurts. :-\
    Hey keep writing, there will definitly be someone who would appreciate it honestly and when words come from within they are always beautiful. That’s ART !!!

    – Pragati 🙂

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    • haha…happens..i’ve found a whole bunch of girls similar to me… you are adding up to the list.. i did my engineering in bangalore too… seriously we make this effort to write down every moment we shared with that one person and he’s not even bothered to appreciate it. i wish i could get that diary back.. 😦
      yes, words are beautiful,.. and words and emotions add up, magic happens… 🙂

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  3. Because you follow your heart here and just write what your heart says,it is so genuine and real.There is no taint of superficial expressions and the words spoken from heart whether they are in form of a story or a poem always touch instantly. You have chosen the best way to let your passion out . Bother least about the diction, everything comes at its own pace and only when necessary. write ups full of difficult synonyms don’t make it an ideal one! :-)..Just carry on!

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  4. Writing as a process is very relieving. At least that is what I have found out in my case. Reading is just the opposite side of it. I guess, together they constitute one of the vital purposes of human life. To know and to be known… your writings are good and this post especially. Keep writing…

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  5. I absolutely agree with Arjun here. What you have is an art- it was never meant to be judged.
    I know what it’s like, identifying so completely with the words you write, until they’re nothing but emotion. Writing is so ingrained in me, that it’s now entirely a part of my being. It’s one of those things that defines me as a person. And falling in love has only made me write more and more until it’s almost an addiction now.
    As for what you have written so far, it’s written so simply and honestly, I cannot help but connect to it. Great job so far, and here’s hoping for an exciting and satisfying writing journey! 🙂

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    • I’ve been too judgmental about myself all my life. I always feel, i am not good enough. same goes for my writing, i lack somewhere.. what should i call this? i dont know.
      Like you, writing has always been with me. that’s one thing i like doing, whether its a poem, an article, an essay or even the thesis for my project. I enjoy it.
      When i fell in love, i got addicted to that person and forgot about my passion, myself completely. Great that it has been exactly opposite for you.
      Thank you for always been so appreciative.. 😉

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  6. I liked this post not out of a sense of duty! But I genuinely liked it. Infact I loved it. I so much identify with this post! Neither do I know if I write well or not but I write nevertheless because I like to. So is it with you 🙂 Continue writing for the joy of it 😉

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  7. Dear Friend,
    You write beautifully, and you shouldn’t stop.
    Everyone who tries new stuff, is a bundle of nerves in the beginning. Even i was.
    There will always be people who like you and then there are those who don’t.. You cant keep them all happy.
    You should never never think about ending your life.
    Its a rare talent, to be able to express your truest feelings in such bful words…And when you write honestly, people will understand and they will follow. 🙂
    Wish you good luck!
    BTW, whats your name?

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    • thank you so much for such encouraging words…. means a lot for a beginner like me… 🙂
      my name is mona… its hidden somewhere in pseudomonaz.. 😉

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    • I scored 90 in my 10 boards…sorry but 86 in 12th 😦
      Thanks a lot for reading so many of my posts and liking them… I really appreciate the way you read them all. Thank you… 🙂

      Like

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