Moon And Me

Hidden beauty

Hidden beauty

Here I come

Here I come

Few steps more

Few steps more

Almost there

Almost there

Finally..

Finally…

Time to Shine

Time to Shine

Bidding the clouds goodbye,

I am gonna rise,

Like this moon,

Someday….

[Clicked these pictures while talking to a friend last night]

Awards :-)

Lately i.ve been nominated for a lot many blog awards but due to time constraints i wasn’t able to thank those lovely people who nominated me. This is a short post to show my gratitude. I won’t be able to follow any rules this time, sorry everyone, time is what i don’t have.

Mridula and Manu Kurup nominated me for Blog of the year 2012 award. Thank you so much for that.

Soumya, meholysmile and once4always nominated me for the Beautiful blogger award. Thank you friends.

Sakshi nominated me for the Reality blog award. Thank you so much for it.

Moving alone,

When i thought no one was my own,

You made me believe,

And helped me achieve,

Heights, i never knew existed.

 

The Three P

Pyaar (Love)

Parivaar(Family)

Padhai(Studies)

Saala life barbad kar di hai in teeno ne. I don’t understand why these 3 things are so important in our lives.Let’s start from the first one:

Pyaar, kar liya yaar, ho gya as they say in movies, pagal thi, dimag khraab ho gya tha, kr liya. So what? zindagi bhar keeemat chukani pdegi iski. Pyaar bhi dharm, jaat dekhke krna hota h kya, is it so? the heated arguments with my mom over castes, religion, they are not gonna get me anywhere. In the end i know, i am going to lose him. And ladna bhi kiske liye, who fights with me all the time. Kisi ne sach hi kha hai, Pyaar badi hi kuttti cheej hai boss!!!

Parivaar, what can i say about them. they treat me like i am 2 years old baby. Yahan mat jana, ye mat kro, hamari family. hamara samaaj, hamara ye wo. To hell with your samaj!!! Mummy ka non- stop lecture, papa ki ummenden, Nhi krni yaar mujhe engineering, i don’t wanna do this but i have to? kyun, because mera parivaar. Have you watched that movie, Udaan, feel like that kid there, only my parents are not that cruel. I have never been to a beach you know, ever in my life, why? because, a pundit told them ki mujhe pani se khtra hai. Yes, that’s the reason and yes, i was that stupid girl who never lied, who asked them to go out even for a movie, the only thing i’ve lied about in my life is about my love life. still what do i get, Ye badi hi bigadi ladki hai. Kyun yaar??? what have i done?

Padhai, huh? no words for that, the only way to escape from everything and the toughest thing for me. man krta hai aag lga dun in kitabon mai. seriously,i am fed up, the harder i try to study, the more i feel like giving up. kis ne ye rule bnaya tha ki sabko padhna padta hai? mil jae ek baar, saala bachega nhi mere hathon.

Yes, i am frustrated. I guess you can easily guess that by now. And i am not being able to write poems these days, because there is so much on my mind. There’s fear, of failure. I am scared about the time after GATE. What reason, excuse am i gonna give? I am sure about not getting a good rank. Miracles are unreal. They won’t happen for me. What after that is a big question. and fear of losing him…I am just fed up. of my life!

Falling In Love

When I smile without any reason,

When I dream of you with my eyes open,

When silence whispers your name to me,

When yours is the only face I wish to see,

When every word you say touches my soul,

When having you around makes me whole,

When a single apology makes me forget my pain,

When every cloud reminds me of the time we danced in the rain,

When I see couples like us holding hands,

When I think of the way you play with my hair strands,

When I feel your presence every time there’s a knock on the door,

Every day, each moment, I fall in love with you,

Even more…

*******

[It’s A’s birthday this Sunday. This poem is for him. This is the only thing i can do for him this time. Below is a song i love to listen to, every time i think about him, though i don’t really understand a single line. It’s a Marwari song by Amit Trivedi and i just love the way it sounds. The music makes me fall in love again and again. (Credit: Coke Studio India)]

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE’

Your Love

Your love

is the reason i live,

is the reason i breathe,

is the reason i dream.

Without you

i have lost my identity,

i have lost my subsistence,

i have lost my self.

Come back

and make me feel whole,

and make me feel wanted,

and make me feel loved.

All over again

Haiku

Haiku 1-

I see us,

Laughing together,forever

I wake up.

Haiku 2-

Afterlife,

Species harmony sans conflicts,

Death.

[ My first attempt in writing Haiku, all thanks to YePirate for his encouragement. Its probably the last time i am writing it]

The Bride, Who Died!

The day I first saw him,

I fell in love,

For the first time.

He was everything I ever wanted,

The man of my dreams,

We were engaged soon,

And in a month was our wedding.

We talked over phone sometimes,

As we weren’t allowed to meet,

The first time, he told me he loved me,

I could hear my own heartbeats.

Finally the day arrived,

The day I wore a red dress,

And he got down from a white horse,

Looking like a handsome prince,

He stretched his hand for me to hold,

And I did just that,

Among rituals, chants, blessings and more,

We vowed to be one till death.

With a heavy heart and tearful eyes,

I left my home for a new life…

*****

The first day at my new home,

I already knew something was wrong,

Since the very day, I was treated like trash,

I was cursed as I didn’t bring enough cash.

The prince charming lost his charm,

The very day he bruised my arm,

Hurling abuses, he said he never wanted me,

All he wanted was more money.

I was sent back home, to fulfill their greed,

But there was nothing left with my parents to give.

Everyday I was told, I was a burden not a need,

With each moment I lost my desire to live.

I thought things would change with a budding life inside me,

I was proved wrong again, I was beaten up till it bleed.

Unconscious, I laid on the floor, all I could smell was kerosene,

I had no strength left to fight, and then the fire crept in.

I could see smiling faces behind those burning flames,

I smiled back at them, felt no pain, as I was going to a better place.

And all miseries came to an end, as my soul left that burning flesh!

Death is peaceful, easy.

It was life that was hard.  

 [One woman dies in India every hour in a dowry related case. Came across one such incident in today’s newspaper, it was pathetic. Is there an end to it? I’ve no answer. ]

Diwali!!!

Finally diwali is over. And it wasn’t that bad. After a gloomy day i had fun once we started lighting candles and diya. Our whole family was together after a really long time. Actually one of my really close friend called me. because of my no contact policy i wasn’t picking up his phone since months but yesterday when he was the only one calling me, i couldn’t control myself. I talked to him, and you know i laughed so much after so long. He has even threatened to kill me if i don’t pick up his call ever again. Our friendship is really strange, we  know each other for the past twelve years, long time i know. And he’s such a person who has always made me smile no matter what. I am gonna write about our relationship in detail, in a separate post. He is really important to me. Even though people ask me to stay away from him. I just can’t. Well, he is special. 🙂

As for diwali, my mom cooked a lot many things but i couldn’t eat anything because this sunday i had a mild food poisoning. I am just relying on fruits since the last 3 days. This always happens to me. I always fall sick during festivals. Poor me. 😦

A didn’t call me. He was as always busy with his family. I called him at night wishing him a happy diwali. Later i texted him, saying i am not well, and as expected he didn’t say anything. Unlike my friend he’s someone who always manage to make me cry no matter what.

Well, yesterday i learnt something. We should never ever let those people go away from our life who really care for us. My friend whom i secretly used to call my angel is such a person, although people call him a devil. Well, i am telling you he’s a really really bad guy but he is a great friend of mine. His one call made my day.

Some of the pictures i clicked yesterday. I am really bad at it but i wanted to post these here. Please don’t mind.

I love this pic

Goddess Laxmi’s footsteps

Fuljhadi…

Fireworks

Our really happy cat during diwali

I hope you guys enjoyed your diwali too… 🙂