The Year That Was ( Thank You Bloggers)

2012, the shortest year of my life, i don’t know why i am really not in a mood to accept that the new year is indeed here. Just few days back we were in hostel,celebrating new year and its new year again tomorrow. How time flies! Today i am gonna write about all those positives i encountered this year. (I don’t wanna ruin my mood by writing the depressing things in my life)

1. The Project: Yes, the best thing i’ve done in my life, our final semester project which got the Best Project award on our farewell day. The last day in college when I got the opportunity to go on stage and accept that award. I can’t tell you the happiness i felt right that moment. It was truly one of the best moments of my life. The way we worked on that project and the final result we got. I can never forget that.

2. Overcoming that fear: I am an introvert. I had stage fright. It started the day i forgot the Indian pledge in the school assembly. I just couldn’t talk in front of people. I had ideas but i just couldn’t speak. Somehow i managed the presentations at college level. But then there was this competition where i had to participate, but how, i was scared. How would i present my paper and compete with so many bright young students all over Bangalore. But then i did it, i presented the paper and not only did i present it , i won the first prize in an All India level technical fest. I still can’t believe it. Those were the first 1000 Rs i earned in my life. I was proud of myself for the first time.

3. Love: Yes, i am gonna count it among the positives. It was this year when we got to spend one whole day with each other, call it fate, coincidence but there we were, together for exact 24 hours for the first time. It was again one of the best days of my life. We broke up many times, we patched up again, broke up,patched up,it goes on. But what mattered is we loved each other. We had problems in our individual lives. I was depressed about my future, he was depressed about his college. The last time i thought he was ignoring me, he was actually in a bad state. He failed. He is in IIT. Being in the best college of India, he is depressed.We are truly opposites, i yearn to be there some day and he wants to get out  of there as soon as possible. And now we know, and we’ve discussed it many times that  although we don’t have any future but we’ll be together. We don’t want to think about it. And that is fine for now.

4: Home: I finally came back to my home, not any government flat,relatives house,rented home but my own house. Yes, we now have a house of our own. Thinking about the days my parents have spent, we could never think of a home of our own but here it is. It was a dream come true. My parents had seen very bad days, we were very poor, we lived in 2 rooms all our life, now even our cat has a room of his own. How time changes!  talking about home, i finally left hostel and i am having home cooked food since the last 7 months, no more burgers,idly,vada,lemon rice but my mom’s food.

5: Blogging: I am blogging finally. I started this blog in August 2012 and its been a great journey. I met so many people here. People who inspired me, who taught me new things, who gave me insights into new cultures, people who were different, and who didn’t bash me for being what i am, who gave me suggestions, hugs,prayers. Blogging helped me to discover that i could write poems, i had the ability to play with words. I was nominated for many awards, and i loved that. WordPress gave me a new world. I would hereby like to thank few bloggers who are really special to me.

meholysmile– She’s so like me. Thank you for sharing your journey with me. Wish you all the best in life. I am sure you are gonna rock this year.

soumya– Thank you for your poems. You inspire me in many ways. The way you share your thoughts on my blog, its really appreciated.

vishnu– Another inspiring blogger. His posts make me to think about my life. He’s a true brother i’ve found here. Thank you for your prayers.

pleiades– Thank you for the thoughts you share. They make my day beautiful.

Wendell– Thank you for sharing your views on God and sprituality. Your poems connect me to Him.

Pirate– The most creative person i’ve met here. He writes about everything. Thank you for making me try out new things.

Snehal– Your poems about various social and other issues touch me. There’s truth, confusion,everything in there. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Neeraj– Love poems, what else can i say! My favorite topic and the way he writes about it.

Tapish– Everyday life and the way he writes about it. Things that touch me everyday and his take on them. He has inspired me in many ways.

Thank you guys for being a part of my life. You all are the positives in my life this year with many more bloggers whom i read here everyday. Thank you wordpress for introducing me to these beautiful souls.

Hereby, i wish each and everyone a very happy and prosperous new year. Wish you all the luck in life.



I Won’t Rest In Peace

There are no tears in my eyes as I leave this place,

Nor do I feel any pain, no emotions on my face.

This soil now smells of my blood,and

The air is mixed with ashes of my existence.

All my dreams lie shattered on the floor,

My life has ended, destiny has closed its doors.

I wanted to live, wasn’t given that right,

I was silenced even before I could fight.

As my soul rises above, I could see people out on the streets,

Why didn’t they come out to cover up my battered body, at that time of need?

It wasn’t just me who was tormented that night,

Each mark on my corpse depicts a woman’s plight.

Whom should i blame is the question on my mind,

The government,culture or people, they are all the same kind.

The moment you demand justice for me, raise your voices in a protest,

A girl somewhere meets the same fate as mine, her voice is supressed.

And my soul wanders along with those who were snatched the right to live,

We were killed just for being women, none of you can we forgive.

We won’t rest in peace if you just hang a person or two,

You can’t change the world, until you bring a change within you!


The GOD Retires

I'll Miss You

I’ll Miss You

I cant imagine cricket without you. For me you were cricket and cricket was you. I can’t forget the times i have cheered you, i have prayed for you, i’ve laughed with you and The World cup win when i cried with you.

And i am crying now, because i just can’t accept that you won’t play anymore. Please don’t leave.

It doesn’t matter what your critics say, you were and you’ll always be the best, The God of cricket.

I’ll Miss You! ;-( ;-(

Things I Wish To Do Before The World Ends

Just one more day to go before the world ends,that is if we believe those Mayan calendars. I mean i really don’t know if the world is going to end on 21/12/2012, but if it does then i have just one day left to live my life. This one day won’t be enough to fulfill my long cherished dreams like visiting New York, meeting Gerard Butler or going on a date with Salman Khan but yes, there are those tiny winy things that i would wish to do on my last day.

1. Advance birthday wishes- The first thing would be to wish my Dad a very happy birthday in advance. He is one among those (un)lucky people whose birthday happens to be the dooms day. As we would all be dying the next day, i would like to celebrate and enjoy this day. We won’t get the opportunity to celebrate any birthday after that.

Birthday wishes

Birthday wishes

2. Bribe someone to kill those rapists– Yes, the delhi gangrape is something that is not getting off my mind. I am highly disturbed by it. And i want to get those criminals killed. I just don’t want to let them die a natural death,like all of us. So i am going to bribe someone to kill them as ruthlessly as he could. I don’t have so much cash but as would be my last day,i won’t mind stealing my parents money.

Kill them!

Kill them!

3. Go shopping- I don’t know about others but i would like to die looking good. So it would be all about new dresses, shoes,cosmetics and what not. I would spend a good amount of time in a parlour. I want to look my best on my last day. I would like to smile and pose for photographs, a thing i haven’t done in a long while.

Love that!

Love that!

4. Getting drunk- Okay so this is something i haven’t done ever. I have never tasted alcohol, leave that, i haven’t even sipped red bull. I am a soft drink girl. And its not because of my cultural values or because no one is my family drinks but because i really think alcohol is a social evil. I have seen beaten up wives, abdoned kids and much more. But this last day i would like to know the reason why people drink. For once i want to experience what high do you get by drinking. And also because i need to lose my senses to do the next things on the list.



5. Rejoin facebook- As my readers know i’ve deleted my facebook profile for lot many reasons, but for this one day i would like to join it back and let people know that i am indeed alive. I would update my status telling people how fake they are, fake relationships,fake friends and how i never missed anyone. I would tell them that it irritated me when they asked me why i went back home, it sucked when they suggested me to take tuitions, become a farmer, kill mosquitoes and what not. I would tell them why its not about money always, its about happiness, satisfaction, that some people are just different, that they want different things in life.

Face it back!

Face it back!

6. Revenge time- Now this is something i want to do right this moment. Its been 18 years that they have terrified me, made my life hell. Yes, these books, books i hate to read but i’ve to read. How everyone told me that these are what will secure my future but instead of that they have ruined it. I don’t want to spend a single second on them anymore. Its revenge time and i would burn them and turn them into ashes, so that they don’t haunt me anymore. Its pay back time!

The burning books!

The burning books!

7. Speak my heart out- Now you know why i needed those drinks. I would go to the topmost point in this town, which would be that water tank nearby ( you can imagine Veeru from sholay) and scream, ” to hell with your society and to hell with your beliefs, to hell with engineering, to hell with your partial laws”. I would tell my parents how i never really lived a single moment in my lives just because i wanted to be their good girl, and yet they thought i was evil. I would tell them that i loved them and i would always do that, because its for them i grew up to be a good human being. Yes, they were overprotective at times and it irritated me but i do love them, no matter what.



8. Run away and get married- It was a long cherished dream of mine to elope and get married, always had that rebel streak in me. If not for dooms day, it would take another 6-7 years for me to get married. But as it would be our last day alive i would like to get married to my guy, as it is highly impossible for us to get married if the world doesn’t end. Being from different castes, we could never get this lifetine opportunity to take our wedding vows.I wouldn’t really mind what people or my parents think. All we need is a temple, one mangalsutra and ek chutki sindoor. Being together forever, till death do us apart.

Together forever!

Together forever!

These are my last eight wishes. A day i would truly live.Somehow, doomsday doesn’t look so bad anymore. 🙂

Tell me,what’s on your list.

When Humans Turn Into Devils

A medical student in her twenties, who was traveling with her male friend in a whiteline bus from Munirka to Uttam Nagar area in west Delhi, was allegedly gang-raped by a group of men inside the moving bus and thrown off the vehicle near Mahipalpur in south Delhi on late Sunday night. Read the full news here.

The girl lies in a critical condition in an ICU battling for her life as her male friend lies in another, as he too was beaten up by the molesters. A movie night turned into a nightmare for these two young souls. The girl, a medical student and the boy, a passed out engineer and a civil services aspirant wouldn’t have thought to witness such a night in their lives. But, it happened. The girl was gangraped by five men in a moving bus, after beating up her boyfriend with a rod. The girl has been hit with a blunt object and besides injuries from the sexual assault, her whole intestine has been damaged.

As i read this news, however hard i tried to forget about it and focus on my studies, i just couldn’t. What i did was read more about it, and while doing so i came across many comments below this news. Comments by fellow Indians, blaming Shiela Dixit, Delhi Police, Hindus, Muslims ( a rape can instigate communal riots in our country), bus drivers, education, hormones, the list goes on. What no one thought about, was the condition of that girl. The news channels got a new thing to discuss, bloggers like me got a new post, police got a new job in hand,but what about the girl. What did she get? Lifelong scars, fear, or probably death. Soon enough we’ll also get few people questioning the girl over what she was doing with a male friend at 11 pm in a bus. A certain sect of people in our country believe that modernisation, mobile phones, television, and even chowmein are responsible for the growing crime rates against women. To clarify the doubts of such people i would like to write about one such incident that i can never forget. Infact whenever i read or hear about rapes, the same incident come across my mind.

It is a really old incident, probably in the late 1990’s or early 2000’s when i was around 10-11 years old. I lived in a really small town not a modernised city like Delhi. There were no cell phones. The only channel we watched was Doordarshan. Like everyday i was reading the newspaper and in the front page  was the news of a women who was raped at her own house. Her son was first murdered in front of her eyes( hit by an iron rod) and then she was raped by 3-4 men who were hiding beneath the bed in the daytime. As soon as it was dark, they came out and raped her. The lady here wasn’t a modern(in indian dictionary) girl who could surge the hormones of these innocent men by wearing provocative dresses but a married young woman with a 5 year old kid. She was infact the wife of a man working in the Indian army, who was posted elsewhere during the time of the incident. I read this news and i didn’t understand anything, though i knew that ‘hatya’ meant murder, ‘Balatkaar’ was too difficult a word to understand at that young age. I was a kid, i didnt knew what happened. I understood all those terms when i grew up. Why this incident is still so fresh in my memory is because, i saw those 2 dead bodies. The mortgage was very close to my home, i just went nearby to buy something and saw those two bodies wrapped in white cloth. And i instantly realised that those are the bodies of the people i read about. I still can’t forget that, not even after all these years.

This incident is about 12 years old, but as i thought about it and about this Delhi girl today, i can’t help but cry, cry for their loss, for the pain they went through. They were punished for no fault of theirs.

The police can find those suspects, there could be court cases, they could get Death penalty for this heinous crime ( which i don’t think they will in our country) but could we ever make them feel what this girl felt last night. No, we can’t. Though i strongly believe that rape is the cruelest crime, i don’t think that death is the ultimate punishment. Death means freedom. It won’t help anyone of us to make that girl feel any better. If somehow we accept or digest the thing that a single person raped a girl, i just can’t believe how could five people turn into devils at the same time. Why didn’t their conscience stop them, not even one of them? How on earth can someone be so brutal?

As i write about it here, that girl is fighting for her life. Last night when all of us were securely sleeping in our rooms, that girl was getting raped in a moving bus, in front of her boyfriend. What could be more terrible. Death? I don’t think so.

I could have been in place of that girl. It could have been my friend, or my sister. Or you. I am scared, i am crying, i don’t know what to do about it? I just can’t take it off my mind.

Can she really live again? I don’t have any answer.

Bhaiyya, ye husband kitne ka diya?

A friend of mine has finally managed to find a guy for herself. Actually her father has finally managed to buy a husband for her. After months and months of bargaining, the price (dowry) has been decided. It is Rs. 12 lakhs in cash+ lots of gold+ a CAR and mind you,  it must not just be a car, but a CAAARRR!( Hope you’ve seen that CAR commercial)

The Bride’s family members are very happy, specially her mom. Okay, you must be surprised by her happiness like I was. Why is she so happy to give away such a huge amount of money? Well she has 3 male children, after the only daughter. Jitna jaa rha hai usse three times jyada wapas aayega. And adding to that, the first son has done an MBA, and is working abroad. Yippee, ye to jackpot hai!

In her exact words, ” Uska to 30 lakh se kam koi dega hi nahi.”

To me it sounded like I am in a sabji market.

Kaka, is baar aloo ki fasal kafi achchi hui hai, iska 20 Rs/ kg se kam to milega nahi.

My friend told me its very common to put a price to guys according to their profession or qualification. He told me that the rate of a Thelewala is around 1.5 lakh. As I was thinking about the thelewala, a really interesting situation came to my mind. What if there was a market to sell husbands? How cool would be that!

All you have to do is imagine a market, lets call it the Dulha street and a thelewala selling husbands on his thela. And there are two girls, Mona and Sona, out their to shop for a husband for Mona.

Thelewala: Husband le lo, husband. Naye naye, fresh husband!

Mona: Hey Sona, look that thela there, it seems to have a nice stock.

Sona: Chal jake check kar lete hain.

Mona: Bhaiyya, Mere liye husband chahiye.

Thelewala: Aao aao madam, yahan sab type ke husband milenge.

Sona: Bhaiyya, Soch samajh ke dikhana, sasta or tikaau hi chahiye.

Thelewala: Ye lo madam, bilkul fresh maal hai, Aaj hi aaya hai. MNC mai kaam krta hai, eklauta beta hai. And apna khud ka family business bhi hai.

Mona: Ahaan, Baki sab to thik hai but iska complexion mujhse match nhi hota. Jara dekh na Sona.

Sona: Haan yaar. Not at all matching. Thoda or dark hona tha. Ye cancel bhaiyya. Koi or dikhao.

Thelewala: Ye lo madam, engineer hai, 25 years age, Young and dashing!

Sona and Mona started whispering: Ye sahi lagta hai. He was too cute.

Mona: Bhaiyya ye husband kam or boyfriend material jyada lagta hai.

Thelewala: To boyfriend hi bana lo madam. Uska to daam bhi kam hai.

Mona: Daam kyun kam hai iska?

Thelewala: Arre madam , husband mai background check, family check, income check sab karna padta hai. Or upar se lifelong warranty deni padti hai. Boyfriend to temporary hai, and i’ll also give you 2 years warranty.

Sona: Or agar ye 2 saal se pehle dhoke baaj nikla to?

Thelewala: To 70% cashback ya on the spot replacement.

Sona to Mona: Yaar this is good, jyada risk bhi nahi hai.

Mona: Have you gone mad? Mom asked me to buy a husband, not a boyfriend. Tujhe to pta hai, Mom ko faltu kharch bilkul pasand nahi. And they don’t even have a background check on boyfriends. What if he turned out to be a fraud?

Sona: You are right. Bhaiyya, boyfriend nahi chahiye, husband hi dikhao.

Thelewala pulls out another one. The guy has long hairs, exactly like Salman Khan in Tere Naam.

Mona screams: Kya Bhaiyya, Itna purana stock kyun dikha rhe ho. Ab Dabanng ka jamana hai, Tere naam ke din gaye. Waise usse yaad aaya, aapke pass Salman Khan nahi hain, wo bhi to bachelor hi hain na.

Thelewala: No madam, wo designer maal hai, kahan local market mai milega? Or jahan tak mujhe pata hai, Salman Khan abhi kahin bhi available nahi hai.

Sona: Achcha bhaiyya, but koi pirated ya duplicate to milega na?

Thelewala: Kyun nhi madam!Ye lo, London based MBA hai and very rich family. Only for Rs. 25 lakh.

Sona and Mona checked out the guy. He was good, smart, handsome and an NRI. Ye to jackpot lag gaya hath!

Mona: Bhaiyya, iska price thoda jyada hai. Kuch to kam karo.

Thelewala: No madam, its a fixed price shop. And I’ve told you very less price. Or jagah ye bahout costly milega.

Mona observed him closely. She found something wrong with his nose.

Mona: Bhaiyya, iski to naak tedhi hai. Manufacturing defect hai bhaiyya, ab to discout dena hi pdega.

Thelewala: Kahan madam, kuch bhi to nahi hai.

Mona: See Bhaiyya, ek to defective maal upar se full price, ye to galat hua na?

As Mona was busy arguing with the thelewala, Sona was checking out other shops and suddenly she screamed.

Sona: Hey Mona, look there. Those are the shoes we were looking out for ,since so many days. You know na, they are so in these days.

Mona: OMG, look those are the blue ones i always wanted to buy. Lets go there.

Thelewala: Par Madam , ye husband?

Mona: Arre bhaiyya, baad mai dekh lenge. pehle hamein shoes lene do. Sona, run before they get sold out.

Thelewala: Madam stop, I’ll give you 10% discount. Wait madam. Please.

No one could stop the two girls now. Not even a discount!

Thelewala looked at the NRI dulha and said: Ab tu yahan kya khada hai? Saala din hi khraab hai. Ek bhi dulha nahi bika. Khali peeli time waste ho gaya. Ja apni jagah jake khade ho! Hurrrr… nalayak!

The two girls came out of the shoe store, satisfied with the shoes they’ve just bought.

Sona: Maje aa gye yaar, we finally got the shoes. But yaar ghar jake danth to nahi pdegi. Yaad hai na husband lena tha.

Mona: Chill yaar. I’ll tell mom ki koi achcha hi nahi lga. And didn’t you see that board, it says there will be a new years sale in January. Jab same maal aadhe price mai milega tab le lenge.

The two girls went home, taking with them the shoes they wanted so badly. (You know girls right, they’ll go out to buy furniture and bring back hairclips, shoes instead of a husband is no big deal!)


And as I write this story here, I sincerely hope that like passing of the FDI bill has paved  the way for a Walmart store in India, soon we can also have a Dulha market. And to lessen the burden of dowry, government should introduce subsidy in dulhas. We can’t have subsidized LPG cylinders, but we can have Subsidized Husbands, right?


home IMG_0295 IMG_0331 IMG_0363 IMG_0371 IMG_0808 IMG_0820 IMG_0928

An old scanned pic

                                                                An old scanned pic

Door ek gaon hai,

Wahan thandi chaon hai,

Behti nadiya hai,

Jana hai nadiya ke paar…

[Some of these pics are clicked by my bro, and if someday he stumble upon this blog, he’s gonna sue me for using his pictures. So i am giving him the credit here. Please don’t mind bro… all in the family.]

Love Birds That We Were

Myna on our roof


Being together,

You were always away.

Your reluctance,

To talk,

To smile,

To love,

Made it clear,

We weren’t meant to be.

I kept walking behind you,


You didn’t look back,

In a desire to win over the world,

You ignored my pain.

Spreading your wings,

You left me alone,

Breaking every promise,

You proved me wrong,

And now, that you are gone,

I can lucidly see,

I was just a chapter in your life,


You were my story!