The Tom And Jerry Relationship

I’ve a hard time answering questions about my relationship status these days. I mean there was a time when I was single, then I was in a relationship, then it was all complicated. After giving up facebook, I started using another term- an on and off relationship. I picked it up from the scandal involving Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. I found it apt, it was easy to understand- one day you are together, another day you are not and the cycle continues. But there was a difference between them and us- Kristen cheated on him. Only after publicly apologizing to him, they got back together, whether for real or for the promotion of their movie, that i really don’t know.

Coming back to my story, there was no cheating involved, only that life was cheating on us individually. We weren’t tired of each other, we were tired of the problems we both had to face. We didn’t stop loving each other, we just stopped loving ourselves. And then it happened – we started fighting with each other to such an extent that it was impossible to stay together. We broke up. But after two or three days we patched up. The 2-3 days interval turned into a week or two but in the end we were always together. Sometimes he left me out of guilt or frustration and I ran behind him, trying everything on my part to get him back. Sometimes I quarreled  endlessly with him and left him alone and he sent me these, ” You forgot me with a crying emoticon ” texts, helpless I went back to him. Its been like that, we fight, we irritate each other, we cry, sometimes we laugh while we fight thinking about the stupidity of the topic we are fighting about but in the end we are in love as always.

During all these arguments we forget that in reality the love between us is the only happiness we have. In these troublesome times, when we both are struggling in our individual lives, he is the only one who makes me smile and I am the only one who understands him. We are our only hope, our only companions, our only support. Its just the two of us.

I am in a Tom and Jerry relationship with my guy, sometimes he is Tom and I am Jerry while sometimes our roles are reversed. Sometimes he saves me from trouble, and sometimes I return the favor. We fight, tease, irritate each other, but  in the end we just can’t live without each other.

googleimages

googleimages

( Just realized, its my 100th post… 🙂 )

The Girl Who Loves Airplanes

Airplanes have always fascinated me, right from the time i was a kid. Actually I had seen only a helicopter till the time I was 15, it was only after we moved to Bangalore that i saw an airplane, one flying up in the sky. I got the opportunity to travel by one when I was 18. I’ve spent the first 15 years of my life in a small hilly town named Pithoragarh. I was an innocent pahadi girl who never knew of a life beyond those mountains. It was a small world, things like airplanes only existed in dreams or in movies. Rarely we would get to see helicopters, sometimes on duty for the ministers or for the people on the way to Kailash Mansarovar. But these rare sights were a reason to celebrate for pahadi kids like me. We would all run out of our homes, into the terrace and shout, ” Helicopter tata, tere peeche Lata.” which roughly translates to, ” Goodbye helicopter, there is a psycho following you.” We would all wave our hands and scream as loud as we could.

Once a helicopter lost its way due to some fault in its signals/radar and was flying at a really low altitude. Our moms urged us to come inside as they thought it has lost control and is going to collapse. We were excited to see it from such a short distance. For a moment it started flying so close to me that i could actually feel the wind from its wings. It was a breathtaking experience for me. It is still one of the most memorable moment of my life, even more than the day i actually travelled by an airplane.

My first flight was from Bangalore to Delhi, i was a little scared and very much excited. I was actually visiting my native town after 4 years. The biggest story in my neighbourhood was that Mona is coming alone from Bangalore and that too by an airplane. I was literally a star. People still ask me questions like, how does it feel to be so up in the air, weren’t you scared, how does the earth look like from above, and i find it great to answer them and see their expressions, their amazed eyes.

I’ve travelled a lot by airplanes in these 4 years. I’ve missed flights and spent some really memorable days of my life. I like airports the same way people like Taj Mahal or The Grand Canyon but none of it equals the joy i used to get while waving at those helicopters. One day while i was still in  Bangalore and was sitting with a friend, I saw an airplane cruising through the sky, my eyes brightened up, i got up and traced its way till the time it vanished in the sky. There was a constant smile on my face. My friend asked me, why was  i behaving like a villager, i just said that i liked watching airplanes. I actually wanted to jump out of joy and scream, aeroplane tata, tere peeche lata, but everyone would have thought me to be a lata ( psycho), so i held back my emotions.

Every time I see an airplane, I want to be that little girl again, wave my hands, enjoy those special moments life offers us, forgetting all its complexities. That little girl never dreamt of travelling by an airplane back then, yet she was happier way more than she is today.

I miss that little girl, I miss that happiness…

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I Am No Writer

I know no big words,

Nor do i own a magic pen,

There are thoughts in my mind,

Thoughts that need to be written.

I have not read literature,

Nor am I a born genius,

There is a pain in my heart,

That flows out in the form of words.

I don’t write to impress,

Nor do i write to earn,

I write to bring out my feelings,

Feelings that were long forgotten.

I am lost in an imaginary world,

There are dreams, deep hidden,

I write to make them all real,

To document the life I live, sans fiction.

I am no writer, if you see my work,

I am no writer, if you read my words,

I am no writer, if you judge my art,

I am one, just from my heart…

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Just Like Your Love

favim.com

favim.com

Now that you are gone,

All I am left with,

Is a bag full of memories…

Letters written by you,

That once made me smile,

Are wet of my tears,

The words fading away,

Just like your love…

The songs you sung for me,

That once left me speechless,

Have the same effect today,

Just with one difference,

A never ending pain replaced my happiness.

They have lost their rhythm,

Just like your love…

The roses you gave me,

To express your love,

Are dead and dried now,

They aren’t red anymore,

They have lost their color,

Just like your love…

Times passed, your feelings changed.

Like everything else,

Your love wasn’t permanent.

They say,

There is no reason to fall in love,

You proved,

There isn’t any to fall out of it.

You are cruel,

Just like your love…

Spring: The season of new beginnings

Its the fifth day of Spring season in India, popularly known as Vasant Panchami, which is the day when Goddess Saraswati is worshipped all around the country. The day when we keep our books aside and worship them. Apart from the ‘no study’ rule, i love this season because of the way things start changing all around. There are new leaves on trees, budding flowers, chirping birds, children playing in sunlight. There’s so much activity and color all around. Its truly the season of transformations. I can finally say goodbye to winters and keep the warm clothes aside. This is actually the first time in many years, i am noticing this change in seasons. I was in Bangalore before, all seasons look alike, its a moderate city, we can’t really figure out which season is going on. But now being in North India, i’ve witnessed hot and humid summer, the extremely chilly winters and finally the beautiful spring and i am loving it. There are so many things to feel good about…

A beautiful bird, with a beautiful voice. It was sitting in the same place for almost half an hour and singing in her magical voice. There was another one with her, but he was constantly  flying. I just assumed the impatient one to be male.

Orange roses are my favorite. The one below is not exactly orange. It changes color,from yellow to orange to red. These two are presently blooming in our garden.

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And this one is a Chameleon, sitting on its flower bed. I wonder why it’s not changing its color. It was there for 2 days. I initially thought it was dead, but it wasn’t. I could see it flicker its eyes.

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Vasant Panchami is incomplete without mustard flowers. Whenever i see fields of mustard, I can’t help but think of Shahrukh and Kajol romancing in one of them. The picture is not actually of a field but that of our garden.

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And this one is the scene i see every morning when i wake up. These are wheat fields, the view from my window. It was all brown and dull a few days ago, now it’s all green.

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I wish to be happy. I wish to forget all those bad memories in my mind and start a new life. And spring they say is the season of new beginnings, and that’s why i am writing this post, to start afresh, to give a new direction to my life.

Happy Vasant Panchami to all. May all of you find your beginnings…

Wordless Valentine

Long forgotten memories,

Healed up wounds,

Resurface today,

Within seconds

As I think of you…

As i see red all around,

A blue fog looms over me,

It’s the season of love,

But the moisture in my eyes,

Portrays a different story…

I am trying hard to write,

To write this pain away,

But words give up on me,

Words fail to form a line,

Without you, my love,

Its a wordless valentine…

***

(Since a long time, i am not able to write anything about love. I find it difficult to write poems these days. This poem is a desperate attempt to express my feelings on this day of love. Happy Valentine’s Day to all my readers. )

Indian Relatives: Y U No Mind Business Of Your Own

I hate weddings and i hate relatives and neighbours even more. They have this habit of making you feel inferior in every situation. Well, there’s a wedding nearby, and for that my mom had to wear a saree. Usually she wears salwar kameez, but for these special occasions, due to peer pressure (yes, at this age), she has to wear sarees. As her hand is paralysed, she can’t do this herself, she has to depend on neighbours. So this neighbour/relative was there few minutes ago, who ridiculed me for not knowing how to tie a saree. She didn’t say this in front of me (for her own good) but i could hereher from the next room. The way she was boasting about how her daughter knows how to tie a saree beautifully, much better than her and how i being so grown up must know how to do it. And it felt miserable when my mom had no words to defend me. I wanted to throw her out of our house the very moment. But i would only be considered more bigadi hui if i would have done that. I wanted to tell her the things i knew, or i could do. I can culture a leaf explant and create lakhs of saplings from it, i know who’s the president of Egypt when her daughter wouldn’t even know who’s of India ( i know its lame,but its okay ).I can even work on fields, i love doing that when their chui mui girls won’t step out in the open fearing they might turn a shade darker and consequently won’t get a guy . Yes, that’s the way they treat their girls, they never educate them, they get them married as soon as they turn eighteen. The only aim in the life of girls here in my small town is to get married( that’s what they are taught, to be a good wife, not a woman) even if the guy is a drunkard who’s unable to stand straight on his own marriage. But i am the loser here, because i don’t know how to tie a saree.

My aunt ( My father’s sister) is another one among my tormentors. She ridiculed me right from the time i was a kid, just because i didn’t know how to cook.  While all her daughters knew it very well and mind you she has six daughters… and you know the reason for that, don’t you, all in the hope of getting a son, the chirag. She pinpoints mistakes in everything i do, not only she but also her daughters, all the five who are married and the sixth who is younger to me and behaves as if she’s my grandmother. And seriously none of them is educated more than me, still they make me feel like a fool.

Relatives play the most important part in the life of an Indian. They start from the very day a lady is pregnant, they’ll tell you to eat oranges so that the baby is fair, they’ll tell you not to eat eggplant because then you would give birth to a female. ( seriously i don’t know how can eggplant change the sex of a foetus, but i’ve heard this one from a doctor couple whose daughter-in-law was pregnant, needless to say i stared them in disbelief), they’ll advise you about everything. After the baby is born, they’ll give you the probable names and suggest astrologers to make the baby’s horoscope. After that they’ll suggest schools and tuition teachers. They’ll compare their kids with yours, they’ll make you feel inferior because their kid touches feet and says pranam while your kid only greets people with a namaste, the competition starts right from childhood. After that they’ll drive your kid insane so that he gets a percentage well above 90 in his boards. They’ll ridicule him if  he opts to learn commerce, instead of trying engineering or medical. They’ll force him to rethink his decision.

Marriages are the favorite subject among relatives. As soon as they see a girl of marriageable age, they start emitting electrons here and there, they are so excited to get you married. They weren’t that excited even for their own marriages. They just can’t see single girls in front of them, they feel pity for them, a feeling of social service takes over their senses and they look out for every possible guy. The situation is the same for guys, only that it starts a little later, only when they start earning. They won’t breathe till they  shower their blessings on you and your partner ( and eat in your reception).

Once the wedding gets over, they start speculating whether the girl has conceived or not. Its been 8 months to my brother’s wedding and every neighbour asks my mom, kuch hai?, a direct question, that means is your daughter-in-law expecting. My aunts have actually terrified my sister who has been married for two years with no kids. The only question they ask her, every time they meet her is, when are you going to conceive. That too in purely arranged marriages, which in our community means that you are not even allowed to talk on phone before you get married and you know what, some of them actually have kids exactly in nine months, that means you start a family with a guy whom you don’t even know in the first place. Well, that is a different problem which i’ll talk about in another post.

So, the cycle completes itself, from the time you are a foetus to the time you create one, every decision in your life is influenced by relatives. And it is an inevitable fact of our lives, a sad and a bitter truth. We all are forced to live of the society,by the society and for the society.

Questions and Answers

There was i time when i had a hard time solving mathematical questions, even those regular division, multiplication sums whereas answering the question “What do you want in life?”, was way simpler. All i wanted were chocolates, dolls ,or maximum new clothes.

Now, though i can solve complex mathematics , I just don’t know how to answer this one question, ” What do you want in life?”

More knowledge complicates life!Ah, I miss that innocence.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Those Hidden Memories

Years ago I visited my mom’s village. I was probably 12 that time and like every kid I had this habit of checking out everything and to ask questions about it. One day I came across a wooden cupboard, and as I opened it, I saw dozens of books inside. My mom told me that all those books belonged to my grandfather. I was a curious little kid who was fond of reading even then and as such I started taking out all those books out. The books were mostly Hindi novels, some even from the early 1900’s (probably inherited by my grandfather from his ancestors) and the difficult language with which they were written made it impossible for me to understand anything.  Bored of the content, I started flipping the pages and as I did that I discovered old letters, torn pages, and dried flowers. I found two letters which were from the time India got independence, both addressed to my grandfather, letters from friends who lived far away. There were also notes about the people to whom my grandfather had lent money. There were pieces of paper, may be receipts of the things he bought with their prices. I was amused to know that once upon a time the cost of sugar was just Re. 1/kg. I was fascinated to read everything, letters, notes but I don’t know why I didn’t keep those things with me. It’s not like I didn’t visit my village again, in fact I was there 4 years ago but those books never crossed my mind. It’s only today when I started writing about this challenge, I thought about those notes in my grandfather’s old books.

Moving on from my grandfather’s story to my own story, I would like to tell you what happened two weeks ago when I went to my sister’s place. She teaches little kids and as such she has kept my old story books, text books, comics with her. One fine day I was going through all those old books of mine and I found lines written by me, dried flowers, leaves of different shapes , cartoon sketches and notes written all over. I can’t express what I really felt that moment. I was happy, sad and excited at the same time. I took time even to recognize my own handwriting; it was so different back then. I could see smiling faces drawn by me all over and I remembered all those happy moments, those beautiful moments I lived. All those memories hidden within the pages of those books were a part of that time of my life when I was really happy, those times when I believed in fairy tales, when I believed in superheroes, those times when I was a protected little girl. I was lost in a world full of memories. Those books brought back my childhood.

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You really can’t hide anniversary cards in e-books, you need paperback course books for that!

It’s not that I don’t like e-books but I do prefer paperbacks. I don’t feel attached to them the way I feel with paperback books. I can’t see them as my personal belongings. I feel attached to the books, novels and magazines I own. I can touch them, smell them, and feel them. Ah the smell of a book, especially of a new or a really old one! I still have the habit of writing small notes on the pages of a book, or hide my secret things within the pages of my text books, no one looks for letters or cards within the books you study, they always look for your diaries. And I certainly can’t hide things in an e-book. I preserve flowers or leaves within them, the first flower my guy gave me, or some differently shaped leaves. I love doing that. And who doesn’t, we all love making memories. Memories make our lives worth living.

Letters from friends, another thing to hide! And it does feel great to find them in the novels i read.

Letters from friends, another thing to hide! And it does feel great to find them in the novels i read.

I believe books are an important part of our property, they are as precious as money or jewelry specially to people like us who spend a major part of our lives either writing or reading the written word. Someday our future generations will inherit these books from us and they will discover the world we lived in. Just like I thought about my grandfather today, they will think about me. And I like being remembered, don’t you?

The latest addition to my memories, one rose from the bouquet i received on my birthday last week.

The latest addition to my memories, one rose from the bouquet i received on my birthday last week.

( Written for this week’s writing challenge)

What Does My Horoscope Say?

My parents and all the other elder members in my family firmly believe in horoscopes or kundali as we say it in Hindi. The first step in finding a match for a person in my family is to

match their horoscope with the prospective bride/groom. The perfect matching of the horoscope is a must for any marriage to take place. Marriage is not the only occasion where horoscopes are considered, in fact they play a vital role in almost every occasion in our lives, right from birth to death. Therefore, whenever anyone in the family faces any problem in life, relatives start suggesting astrologers who can find solutions to those problems or can read our entire future.

Owing to my current situation( no college, no job) my mom decided to show my horoscope to one of these astrologers who is also a close relative of ours. Now he is a really renowned astrologer who even have contacts with The Ekta Kapoor and his entire television clan. Though he doesn’t practice astrology on a regular basis, people say he’s blessed with a vast amount of knowledge.

Following are the top five predictions he made about my life and mine and my family’s reaction to each one of them. My reactions are obviously within my mind.

Prediction 1: She’s very lucky.

Family: See, you are lucky, you’ll definitely get through this exam. Now, don’t cry saying that you are unlucky. God has blessed you with luck.

Me: Let’s get out of here. He doesn’t know anything. The first prediction itself is wrong.

Prediction 2: She’s very short tempered. But its not her fault. Its all because of the planet Mars that is residing within her kundali. Make her wear a ring of red coral and everything will be fine.

Family: Don’t we need to do any pooja. A ring would do or anything else. We are fed up of her rebellious behaviour.

Me: Right, me having Mars in my horoscope makes me rebellious. Whatever you say! At least i’ll get a ring. 😉 He’s not even that bad.

Prediction 3: She’ll go abroad to do her PhD, most probably to a country whose name starts with C. I am very sure about this one. Change my name if this doesn’t happen.

Family: Must be Canada. What are the other countries with C, China, Cuba, Cambodia…. the list goes on!

Me: Bhai PG krne k liye itni phati padi hai, tu mujhe doctorate karwa le!! x-( Which name would you prefer, Champu ya Chirkut, tell me that?

Prediction 4: She’ll do something that no one is our family has ever done.

Family: She’s definitely gonna kill someone. With this temper of hers that is the only thing she can do. She’ll ruin our name someday.

Me: OMG! Does he know of my plan to elope and get married. I am dead. Hide me some where. 😦

Prediction 5: She’ll prove to be a great wife and an ideal daughter in law.

Family: hahahaha…hohohoho..can’t control. Omg.. hahahaha

Me: No comments!!! ( Beizzati ki bhi had hoti hai yaar)

This is it. I don’t know how many of these predictions will actually come true. I don’t really believe that someone can predict our future, that too by seeing our horoscopes. And in case these predictions do come true someday, you can contact me to get our astrologer’s number. I’ll be happy to help! 🙂

source:google images

source:google images