Saathiya Style Wedding

I was probably 13 when I first watched the movie Saathiya, and being a die hard romantic I loved it to the core. It was an epic love story for me- guy meets the girl at a wedding, he falls in love, follows her everywhere, makes her fall in love with him, they elope to get married, defy their parents, romance through phones, live together, fight, and end up together after a series of misunderstandings and  tragedies. What stood out for me in the whole movie was the way in which the leads get married. Ever since I saw this movie, I wished to get married that way- go to a temple with your friends, sign the documents, look coyly at each other, smile, pose for photographs,  go back to your respective houses and wait for the right time to disclose your marriage. How the teenager in me loved that dreamy world!

But as I entered the world of adults I realized that nothing of that sort happens in real life, Bollywood earns by selling us those false dreams, life is too complicated to wrap up in just 2-3 hours. My Saathiya dreams took a backseat, and reality crept in.   But unlike me, there are people in this world who do take inspiration from movies. So, a few days back I heard about this couple who got married Saathiya style.  They were in love for more than 6 years but being from different castes, it was impossible for them to convince their parents for their union. In total filmy style they decided to get married secretively, and to wait for the right time to tell their parents about it.

For 2 years they kept their marriage a secret, no one knew about it except some close friends. And then came the day, when the girl’s parents came to know about it through an outsider. They called up the guy’s parents. After a lot of arguments, blame games, murder threats, the families gave up, and love triumphed.

They have been married for five years now and are proud parents of a little girl. They fought for their love and won. Many people will call them foolish, irresponsible for the way they got married, well, hate me for this but I call them true lovers. How many of us have the courage of doing something stupid and face its consequences? They believed in their love and followed their heart. Life is all about taking chances they say, so is it wrong to take chances in love? Probably not…

Well, how can I finish this post without telling you the moral of the story, as in for me-

My dreams of a Saathiya style wedding are back. I’ve told my guy that if ever we decide to elope, we will do it the Saathiya way and that I’ll of course run wearing a lehenga, I can’t dream of getting married wearing shorts, or jeans. That would be gross. Location koi bhi ho, mandir, court, ya arya samaj, shadi to mai lehenge mai hi krungi. And good news is that, he has agreed (as always) but he has asked me to complete all the formalities, legal work etc. (as always).

Henceforth, I wait for my wedding day…With the song Mangalyam  on my mind.  Ab thodi filmy life toh chalti hai na yaar…?

Love this song and this scene from the movie…. 🙂

Disclaimer- I am not getting married tomorrow. This plan will be executed after 7-8 years if required. Please guys stop wishing me luck…I am embarrassed. Gosh..I am just 22. (#^.^#)

Raising Your Voice

A girl aged 11, on her way to attend her cousin’s wedding, sat next to the driver in an overcrowded jeep. The driver drove the jeep with his right hand while keeping the left one on her thighs. She felt uneasy but didn’t know what was wrong. It was only when she grew up she realized what he did  and she hated herself for letting that happen, for not raising her voice. Memories of that day still haunt her.

She turned 18, and was on her way to college in a bus, when a man nearly in his fifties, sat next to her and started asking her about the city. She politely answered his questions. But after few minutes, the same man kept his hand on her thighs. Memories of the jeep driver came seeping into her mind. She was scared, while he kept touching her. In a low voice she asked him to take his hand away but he didn’t  A lady standing nearby saw him and asked him to vacate the seat as it was reserved for ladies. She must have seen him harassing her. She was relieved but hated herself for not raising her voice again. Memories of that day still haunt her.

Last Friday, this same girl aged 22 now went to the market along with her mom and took a rickshaw to the post office. A man sat in front of her. She felt uncomfortable in his presence but as it was only a matter of a few minutes, she thought to adjust. The man touched her leg but she ignored it thinking it would have happened accidentally. But in a few seconds, the man kept his hand over her thighs. The last two incidents came flashing into her mind and she screamed and asked the rickshaw puller to stop. She shouted at him, abused and warned him and he looked at her as if nothing happened. She decided not to give him the benefit of doubt this time. She had to raise her voice, she couldn’t live with one more regret. She had to do this, otherwise she would have hated her again, for letting that happen. She kept shouting at him, taking out all her rage, for the day she was just 11 and didn’t know why she felt uncomfortable with that man’s touch, for the day she was an innocent scared teenager, for the countless days, she was reminded that she was a girl who was bound to feel unsafe, who was bound to be raped with those indecent gestures of shameful men.

And it was that day, when she stopped hating herself for letting something happen. Instead she hated those men who made her feel this way. She raised her voice and found solace. For once, she felt powerful, she felt better. She felt okay to be a woman…

P.S. I am back. I can’t stay away from writing for long, its the only thing that keeps me sane.

The End…Till A New Beginning

I apologize for not replying to the mails some of you wrote to me, to the comments you wrote on my posts and for being away from this world. I do come around and read your posts, but i just don’t know how to write anymore. I have absolutely no idea why am I not able to write anything on this blog, the way I used to write before. This isn’t working for me anymore. If I’ll write it’ll all be filled with negative thoughts, depressing quotes and uncertain plans, and I just don’t want to write about that again, day after day.  I want an end to it. And that’s why I’ve decided to take a break from blogging, till the day I get a way, anything, anywhere,  something I can hold on to. I may come back but for now, I just don’t want to write.

I thought my life would change after I qualify the exam, but nothing of that sort happened. I am still struggling, alone. There is no one to support me, help me, or guide me. Its just me, and I am just not strong enough. The worst part is I am not doing anything, I am just waiting, for what I don’t know. And this wait is killing me, mentally, emotionally…

I am tired of smiling, laughing, enjoying, telling people that i don’t give a shit about things that are happening, when in reality I am dying from inside. This life is hard. I know its harder for many people out there but I am not a saint to think about them and I am sorry for that. For once I want to be happy, I want to a find a reason to be here, in this world, without thinking about others, I want to be a girl who gets things easily, who never find herself in tricky situations, who never misses deadlines or flights, or face complicated coincidences….. I want a normal, uneventful life, without twists and turns….I don’t want this exciting life, I want to live a boring life…for once.

And so I am leaving. I’ll resume writing here, once I turn into a sane, normal individual.

Till then, keep writing and take care…

Mona.

What Is Meant To Be, Will Always Find Its Way…

I wrote an exam for a government job in November 2012, I did that  because at that point of time I was clueless about what I  want to do, I was sitting at home, passing time, struggling to study for GATE and well, I was depressed . Anyway, it was a preliminary exam and I had no hopes to clear it. Every graduate I knew had applied for it, so there would have been millions of students dying to get those handful of jobs. I checked the results and obviously my name wasn’t there. The main exam was in January I guess, but the paper leaked
on the day of the exam and the exam was postponed. I knew this because one of my cousins had qualified for the exam. So, why am I telling you this crap when I didn’t even qualify the exam. Well, guys, the thing is somehow I’ve got the admit card to write the main exam. Yesterday, my dad called me and told me that I’ve got a post regarding so and so exam. I was like, I didn’t fill any form, which exam is it? When he read the name of the organisation, I told him that I had checked the results long back and that I didn’t qualify it. He said, he has the admit card in his hands and I was like what the hell is happening! This is not where the story ends, how can it be so uncomplicated when its my story that we are talking about. Well, the exam is on 7th April, the day I am leaving for Bangalore. And I am in no way going back home to write the stupid exam even though I kind of know I can do well in that technical paper. I won’t cancel the tickets ( I am broke, you must know that).

I mean what is it supposed to mean? They say we should carefully analyse the signs life presents us with. Which sign should I read-

That I wrote an exam in which I apparently failed, and that the paper of the main exam leaked and the exam got postponed and I got an admit card for the postponed exam – which means I am destined to write the exam.

OR

I had booked my tickets just 3 days before I got the admit card and had already left my place and that the exam was postponed to that exact date I had booked my tickets for – which means I am not destined to write the exam.

It is destiny I suppose, some unexplained forces in the universe let things happen, sometimes not in a way we want it but in a different complicated manner, things we have to accept because we aren’t left with any other choices.

Once when I was still in college and had to leave for Bangalore on the 19th of May, my brother had booked my tickets. As I entered the Airport and went in to take my boarding pass, the lady told me that my ticket was booked for 19th June, instead of 19th May. I panicked, I didn’t know how that happened and how absolutely no one noticed it, not the one who booked the ticket, not me who had the ticket in her hand for so long, not even the security personnel  who let me inside the airport. And because of that one silly mistake, I lived the most beautiful day of my life. It was a beautiful accident. Serendipity as we call it.

You know it has always been like that. I don’t live a hot and happening life, I ain’t rich, genius, or drop dead gorgeous. I am just an average girl next door, but there is something about my life which makes it so damn interesting. Even though I am jobless, collegeless( is that a word?), aimless from the last one year or so, but it is this uncertainty about future which prompts me to know more about it, inspires me to live it to see what will happen next.

I was an unplanned child for my parents. I have grown up hearing the taunts of my siblings that I am just an unwanted kid in the house, just an accident. Though my mom calls that a disaster, I beg to differ, I call myself a fortunate accident. Their life would have been so incomplete without me, I am the only fun element in their house. They can love me or hate me but they just cant ignore me. Being an accident myself I am bound to believe in destiny. They were destined to have me, I was destined to live this life, and everything that is about to happen is already written in my destiny. The choices I make, or the ways I take, I’ll be where I am supposed to be and as John Lennon has said,

“There is nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.”