The End…Till A New Beginning

/ Mona

I apologize for not replying to the mails some of you wrote to me, to the comments you wrote on my posts and for being away from this world. I do come around and read your posts, but i just don’t know how to write anymore. I have absolutely no idea why am I not able to write anything on this blog, the way I used to write before. This isn’t working for me anymore. If I’ll write it’ll all be filled with negative thoughts, depressing quotes and uncertain plans, and I just don’t want to write about that again, day after day.  I want an end to it. And that’s why I’ve decided to take a break from blogging, till the day I get a way, anything, anywhere,  something I can hold on to. I may come back but for now, I just don’t want to write.

I thought my life would change after I qualify the exam, but nothing of that sort happened. I am still struggling, alone. There is no one to support me, help me, or guide me. Its just me, and I am just not strong enough. The worst part is I am not doing anything, I am just waiting, for what I don’t know. And this wait is killing me, mentally, emotionally…

I am tired of smiling, laughing, enjoying, telling people that i don’t give a shit about things that are happening, when in reality I am dying from inside. This life is hard. I know its harder for many people out there but I am not a saint to think about them and I am sorry for that. For once I want to be happy, I want to a find a reason to be here, in this world, without thinking about others, I want to be a girl who gets things easily, who never find herself in tricky situations, who never misses deadlines or flights, or face complicated coincidences….. I want a normal, uneventful life, without twists and turns….I don’t want this exciting life, I want to live a boring life…for once.

And so I am leaving. I’ll resume writing here, once I turn into a sane, normal individual.

Till then, keep writing and take care…

Mona.

13 thoughts on “The End…Till A New Beginning”

  1. I’ll miss you Mona…hope you return really soon! Live in the moment and take each second as it comes without expectations…you’ll turn things around 🙂

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  3. Taking break helps… I know and I can tell you from experience… do take a break instead of dwelling in all those thoughts and writing them out. Yes, you do need a break as I had realized in my case a couple of months ago and I did take break and still I am not back as a regular blogger that I used to be … all the best Mona… take care 🙂

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  6. wow,you are too sad and carrying lots of sorrow.why don’t you sit for a while and have self-introspection ,why it went wrong.i think you need a unconditional friend to bring peace for you.this friend can be one of your parents or person whom you trust.carrying so much sadness and frustration within will destroy you in long term.i hope,you would think on your own or will get some genuine friend who can guide you to happiness.whenever i have too much stress,i travel to a place with river and green mountains and spend time alone to refresh myself.nature is man’s best friend.

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  11. I cant like this post because there is nothing about Sadness and melancholic moments are a part and parcel of our life, can’t help them, worst thing is one can never really ignore them. Life is not just ha ha hee heee LOL and 🙂 …. it is a journey filled with challenges every day.

    Have some more patience, there are no ready made solutions to the problem, but time changes, it may change at its own pace but it does keep changing all the time. Your time will also come, and till then you will just have to wait. That does not mean you keep depressed and stay sad. Enjoy the little joys of life as and when you come across some. Life looks tough and every day is struggle but there are moments within those days when you will have some time to laugh or maybe just enough to smile a bit. Don’t ignore those few moments as insignificant, they are the one which keep us alive. Try and extend them as much as you can, by thinking about them, focusing on the positives, in your life or of those around you. There is nothing more painful than loneliness, so spend as much time as you can with family, friends, the people you’d like to spend time with. You are not alone, none of us are, if we start believing so. Come to think of it, there are 7 billion human roaming around this planet (I fear the number is much larger than what this planet can happily accommodate) + the other species and the plants, rivers, mountains and other geographical things. Open your heart to all of them, you will never be alone. If they are in your heart, you will always be their in their heart too. Do try and smile, even if it is a fake one, and you will see that those around you will smile and make you genuinely smile in no time at all.

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  12. Okay Mona.. I’m not going to preach you anything… just few things to say-

    Reading your blog makes me think of my lil sis who also took break post her grads… n right now she’s also in a confused state, no one to help, boring life, pursuing a boring one year course (wich she doesn’t like), her career plans are not stable, she’ changes it often… n even I’m not able to help her…(which hurts me a lot)

    You’ve helped me in understanding her.. Thank you so much… 🙂 🙂

    Coming back to you…

    1. don’t let your motivation go… don’t allow the devil inside you to conquer you.. combat him with your strong willpower. I’m very sure you can… 🙂

    2. see the good aspects of your personality. I remember you saying you are good in technical knowledge n currents affairs.. (you even know who’s the PM/President of Egypt ;)) n feel good about yourself…

    3. try to learn something very new… indulge yourself in learning guitar or you can also join AOL- Art of lIving, that really helps (has helped me a lot during a time when I’d lost my self confidence at a crucial stage of my life n career)

    4. don’t think about any -ves (easy to say than implementation but still you can try…)

    5. stay away from people who try to take away your sweet smile….

    As it is said, “Bhagwan k ghar der hai par andher nahi 😉 :)” one sure day you’ll get everything you want to achieve…

    God Bless you sweetheart… tc

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  13. Your more normal than you realise. And your honest, how beautiful a quality is that! I feel like you and I have everything in life. But nothing without inner peace and happiness. You sound wonderful, so come back and write your way through the journey. Hugs Paula. Xx

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