My First Rejection

It’s been a week, a whole week since I faced my first rejection, you know the feeling when you don’t see your name on a list and your heart shatters, the moment when are waiting for a miracle only to realize that miracles are nothing but a myth. Well, to be honest I wasn’t that shattered after facing the results. I kind of knew that I won’t be able to make it. But it would be wrong to say that I wasn’t hoping, we humans have a tendency to expect miracles, expect something out of the blue, and I was a little disappointed after waiting for hours and hours only to not see my name over there, especially after seeing the beautiful campus of IIT Madras.  One dreams of going to a college like that, I even spotted a deer in that campus, and it was an awesome experience.  Anyways, I am okay now, especially because the long, tiring trip is over.

Well, on a different note, I learnt a lot many things during this trip. Have you ever felt sorry for other people more than for yourself? I kind of felt that. I mean, I met so many people who were so passionate about their fields of research or education, and they couldn’t make it, just like me, they were disappointed to see the results. But unlike me, they were so much more deserving. I could see the passion in their eyes, the desire to create something new. There was this guy who knew everything about cells, he was insanely passionate about the cell cycle, the way he was talking about cells reminded me of the way I talk about dance, or some social issues. And yet, he wasn’t selected. There was another guy, whom I knew from my college days, and who has done many projects under cancer research, has scored 98 percentile in GATE yet he couldn’t get through IIT. All my college life, I hated that guy, I found him rude, arrogant, and proud but that day, the moment I saw the gloom on his face after seeing the result, I pitied that guy.  For the first time in my life, I felt sorry for him. He deserved better things in life, more than me, more than anyone I knew but life is cruel, and so he has to struggle.

On my flight back to Delhi, I met this guy who was extremely passionate about design. He was working in an IT company but was trying hard to get out of that place to pursue a design course. While we were talking about our lives, and our struggle to find a place in this competitive Indian education system, and the role luck plays in it he told me an interesting thing, he said that someone, at some point of time must have worked hard for those people whom we call lucky today. Isn’t it true? We say that this fellow is very lucky, he is rich, he gets things easily blah blah, but someone, his father, his forefathers would have worked hard to bring him to this point. They would have struggled to make money, to set up businesses, to be well enough to promise a comfortable future to their generations ahead. And if we are struggling now, to find a way, to create something, we are probably doing so to secure the future of our upcoming generations. We can’t get lucky without hard work, someone has to work hard, either us, someone from our past or one from the future.

These words from a stranger and the fact that I am not the only one, who is struggling, made me feel better but somehow, the trip left me feeling uneasy too. I met, these passionate guys, who talked so beautifully about things they wanted to do in their lives, they talked about ideas, their struggles, their strategies, I, on the other hand was the one without any plans, there was nothing I knew I could talk so passionately about. I found myself to be an aimless, passionless person.

I still don’t know what I want to do in my life. I am lost, and I’ve no desire to find a way. Is it normal? I am waiting for something to happen, I don’t know what is it… Just something, that makes me feel alive.

Is it wrong to say that I am on the pursuit of somethingness? What do you feel?

passion-wordle-1

Image from here.

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18 thoughts on “My First Rejection

  1. Don’t worry, better things will come ur way and I am sure bout that. Rejection is not doomsday and remember, tough times doesn’t last but tough people do. Follow your heart and the rest will follow. But, I am happy that you took it in a positive manner. Keep faith coz the world is beautiful:) Now smile.

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  2. This somethingness is sometimes very amazing – your time to know what you are after shall come soon thou. What I feel is same as you will feel at this moment but – the beauty of life is – it gives us the power to do what we want and what we want to do.

    No, you are not aimless – some never know the aims in their lives till they are 60 but they realize it with time. Keep your butterflies of hope alive you will soon find your beautiful flowers 🙂

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    • Ah…this somethingness, this uncertainty is taking my life right now, but there is no fun without it in life, right? We need to live these oments of doubt, gloom, to witness true happiness.
      You are right, time will tell what is there in my destiny, I just need to be patient. Keeping my hope alive…. 🙂

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      • This Somethingness is a momentarily phase of life. This is needed for you to learn and earn an experience from this. You would realise it with time that such phases makes us stronger to realise what is coming to us and why it is coming to us. 🙂

        All the best, Nothing that kills you makes you stronger. This is just the somethingness of it.

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  3. Ahhh.. glad to see you after a week Mona 🙂
    Rejections are part of life, whether you like it or not you gotta accept it n move on with it.. until n unless you get rejections you can not understand the thrill of success, the real happiness! as you had already mentioned that “you don’t get anything easily, you gotta struggle for everything” i think this part of your life will make you a person who will value everything in her life- relationships, success, failure, etc.

    So take things positively n move on to your next destination! easy to say than implement but I know you can do it… you gotta do it!

    Take Care
    Love- Pratiksha

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    • Yes, I’ve to do. I wasn’t really feeling that bad after this IIT-M rejection,. I kind of knew it, but anyway, jo hoga so hoga…
      These situations ake our life worth living…jo aasani se mil jae usme itni khushi nhi milti, right?
      Glad to see you too…:)

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  4. When one door closes in life another one opens. I believe everything is meant to be. I know successful people who still tell me they don’t know what to be when they grow up! You will find your way, just maybe not what you thought you wanted to do…I wish you luck and hug you…Paula xx

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  5. Oh its very normal… Its not the end. Maybe life has decided something else for u.. n it will definately knock ur doors.

    Whatever happens… happens for a reason. N life gives you what you deserve. Remember that.
    I was at the same point in my life before 6 yrs…. I did not know what to do… I just took up whatever came to me.. N c.. m happy vd my life today. 🙂

    Just njoy… :d

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    • y plans never work out anyway so even I’ve decided to just let it be, and wait…I hope I get what I deserve, I’ve been very unfortunate over this ‘deserving’ thing. But with tie, everything would work out well, I wish so… 🙂
      Its good to know that you finally found something that you liked and are happy. Stories like yours help me to not lose my hope…thanks for being here. 🙂

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  6. You need to keep working till you eventually find passion.People who find it early on are really rare.Most of us have to try out a variety of things before we find something that really inspires us.

    I faced my first rejection way back in middle school!Yes,I didn’t make it to the second round of auditions for a school dance.I was shattered.All my dreams of becoming a great dancer(Ah,innocent childhood ambitions!),were murdered right then and there.

    Then came a string of other rejection and major failures.

    Point is,it’s ok to be aimless and lost as long as you’re actively working towards finding what that ‘something’ is.That and don’t forget to watch TEDx videos while you’re at it.They’re a wonderful source of inspiration 😀

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  7. Everything will be fine one day or the other. For now, you just need to have the key things- Patience and Faith! You will certainly wind up in some good place, the question is ‘when’. Well, have patience and let time play out its trick! All the best 🙂

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