“Okay, maybe I’m not such a shitty writer. But I can’t pull my ideas together, Van Houten. My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations. “
I came across these lines while reading the book, The fault in our stars, and absolutely loved them, for they depict the exact state of my mind, of my inability to write. I had decided to write more after the end of my first year in college, and there were times when I clicked on the New post option here on WordPress, but as my fingers hovered over the keyboard, all the scattered thoughts in my mind refused to form anything sensible.
There were stories waiting to be written , waiting to be shared and read but there I was, unable to put into words the thoughts I had in my mind. There was a time when I could write anything, from romantic poems to inspirational write-ups, things about society, environment, good stuff, bad stuff, meaningless shit but today I struggle to write even the title of this post.
And yes, I miss writing. I miss the people who read my stuff, I miss their likes, comments and thoughts on the stuff I wrote. This was the world I created to talk about things that mattered in my life and it sucks to abandon my own world. There are times when I smile even by seeing spam messages in my account, I feel happy to think that at least spammers still linger around here. I may write in my private diaries, but that never equals the contentment I get by writing here. And as much as I love writing, I love to be read. That’s what all humans have, a desire to be heard and respected.
As I continue with my struggle to align words and form sentences worth reading, I sincerely do hope that someone somewhere is reading this and hoping for me to win this battle. Yes, sometimes writing needs prayers to be kept alive…