Crushes and Confessions

I did it. I confessed my feelings to my crush from school. I had never imagined I would do this; it was a brave thing for me to do, given that he’s a friend of mine and is in a relationship with another girl since many years. I was talking to him after almost a year, and the more we talked, the more I felt like telling him about the cute little crush I had on him. Lately I have been on a mission to confess my feelings to all my crushes since school and he was the second one on that list. This mission was the outcome of an article I read on the web which listed the 25 things one should do before turning 25.

I never knew accepting my feelings would feel so good. I had always imagined the confession to be a little awkward but it wasn’t like that at all. In fact I am smiling ever since the moment I told him about it. The biggest surprise was the way in which he reacted to my confession; he literally had no clue about it. I told him about my weakness for thin, nerdy guys and how he filled that criterion completely. I told him about his test paper which I had kept with me as a memory of him.  I was too ashamed to confess that I always waited for him to talk to me and about the horrible feelings I had for not talking  to him during our 2 years at school. When your crush doesn’t even know that you exist, it hurts a lot, especially when you are in your teens. We actually started talking/ chatting when we met in Orkut after joining college and that’s how our friendship started.

I remember that I used to share everything about my life with him, most of which was really depressing stuff. I have really irritated him with my sad stories and like a good friend he advised me whenever I was down. I don’t know when my crush changed into a deep meaningful bond of trust and friendship. There were times when we lost contact in between but after those short breaks I always connected to him in ways I never felt with anybody else. Without even thinking that he might not be interested in my senseless chatter, I used to tell him everything. He was that one friend of mine who never got old, and in those times of distress, when he advised me over love or career, I started respecting him.

Last night as we talked I realised that there are some bonds which are greater than friendship and purer than love. I understood that sometimes we want to see some people happy, no matter what. Sometimes we listen to depressing stories of our friends to make them feel better, even when we have our own problems. And that sometimes high school crushes lead to lifelong friendships. I am lucky to have one.