This Feeling….

“Over the last couple of years, the photos of me when I was a kid… well, they’ve started to give me a little pang or something – not unhappiness, exactly, but some kind of quiet, deep regret… I keep wanting to apologize to the little guy: “I’m sorry, I’ve let you down. I was the person who was supposed to look after you, but I blew it: I made wrong decisions at bad times, and I turned you into me.” 
― Nick HornbyHigh Fidelity

This is exactly how I feel today. Sometimes, I feel terrible to see what I’ve become, to be a failure in my own eyes, not that people think of me as one but this feeling of helplessness makes me cringe with a pain in my heart.

Why is that the “could have been, would have been and should have been” hurt so much? Why do I have so many regrets in my life and why can’t I ever overcome them? Why is it so difficult for me to let go off the past and build a new future?

Lately I’ve realized that I’ve too many WHYs in my life…and I’ve answer to none.

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7 thoughts on “This Feeling….

  1. One thing: DON’T LET OTHER PEOPLE DEFINE WHO YOU ARE IN TERMS OF THEIR YARDSTICKS-it’s your life, your dreams and not their dreams. There is always something bigger and better in life:)

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  2. Yes there are days you feel nothing is going right and that the whole world conspires against you..but let those days should not erase the real you…the spirit which originally defines you. Yes we cannot choose our past or totally leave behind as I always believe our past, present and future is totally intertwined to be what we are… But we cannot just dwell in past giving no heed to other two…let’s be hopeful and this day will pass too with the new morning beam of light…. While I was a teenage and went through this self introspection phase…there’s one simple but highly effective phrase which helped me like a guiding principle and yet after so many years aids me in day to day life is…”Forget, forgive and march on as life is too short and too beautiful to waste on trifles.”….

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  3. Not believing the smiley in your comment unless we see a new post. Might sound like a cliche but then someone wise said sometime (Actually a long time back)…

    Ae tilkan baazi vehrha ae
    Thamm thamm ke ttur anhera ae
    Varh andar wekho kehrha ae
    Kyun khalkat baahar ddhunddindi ae

    The world is a slippery place
    Tread carefully for ‘tis dark
    Go into yourself and get to know the person there
    I wonder why people search unceasingly outside

    Hope you find peace, within.

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  4. We are what we chose to be today. The decisions we made that day only has the power to make us stand where we are today. It’s ourself who has to decide to be greatful or regretful, but nothing going to change.

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