Lost In Life

I have never really written regularly here ever since I joined college and its already been an year and a half. Can you believe that! Just six months left for me to leave college, be a post graduate and see the real world. I mean how the hell did it happen? Time passed in the blink of an eye…. I still remember the time I started blogging, clueless about what to do with my life, sitting at home, crying my eyes out, taking out all my frustration over here… I was 22, stupid, scared, overly emotional, a complete fool. Well, I may be stupid even now but I am a different person, may be I have grown up. I am about to be 24 in two months, many of my friends are getting married, some are pregnant and although these updates about their lives  do unnerve me, I am okay with it. I still don’t know what to do with my life, I am yet to find my passion, I suck at everything I have to do in the lab to get my degree, I keep googling the term ” how to quit college” all the time but I am okay, you know a different kind of okay. Yesterday when my dad called me ( which is a very rare thing), I literally choked up while talking to him about my life. I mean crying while talking to my dad!!! I could never have imagined that. I realized that how much ever I want to hate him, I don’t really do. That was a good realization on a bad day. And there are things like these that keep me going.

Did I tell you all that I have got some awesome friends here in college. They are like friends I used to see in movies… friends who know all about your crazy stories, about your hook ups, crushes, dirty intentions etc. I never really had a “college life” during my graduation days. Yes, I had awesome friends then too but we were all a group of innocent people, the slumdogs, the inferiors, we didn’t like the way we were. And that “me” changed when I came over to this place. From being a scared little introvert, I slowly discovered myself and started enjoying life rather than just passing it. You know I even got into a roller coaster ( OK…don’t laugh, it was a BIG thing for me). There were things that I wanted to do but never really did because, I don’t know..I was weird. I completely wasted my graduation days. I don’t know why I was so depressed all the time. I am a much happier person now. Well I am sad too, but that gloom of sadness never interferes with my happy world. To be precise, life never gets boring over here..there is always something to do, whether for fun or for majboori.

All in all, I am on a roller coaster ride my friends…up and down..up and down… and that’s how life is supposed to be, I guess. How are you going doing? Do let me know.