Finding The Perfect Man

It’s hard isn’t it, to decide what you want from life, especially in cases related to your heart. I mean how do you go about finding the right guy for you? Who is this perfect man every classic novel, every chick flick raves about? One guy is hot, and the other one is oh-so-smart, one is the-nice-guy, and the other one is witty, but all in one, oh no, he doesn’t exist.

There was this one guy in school I had a crush on. Even if it isn’t the right adjective to describe a boy, but man, he was oh-so-beautiful. His cuteness level was beyond 100 on a scale of 10. But, he always treated me like some Goddess you know, and not in a sexy kind of way. Actually I was a class topper while he sucked in studies, so he always addressed me with all this respect like I am some kind of a nerd or something. He still does it, even when we are like almost a decade away from high school.  So, all his cuteness just withers out.

Hell yeah!!! Cute guy spotted...

Hell yeah!!! Cute guy spotted…

Then there was this really hot guy who went to the same tuition as me. It has been seven years since I last saw him but I still stalk him on Facebook. He’s in the Navy now, and that uniform has only added to his hotness. I really don’t know anything about him other than his apparently hot-looking-bod on the pictures he posts in Facebook but that doesn’t seem enough to hunt him down.

Yup..It's my hobby!! Deal with it.

Yup..It’s my hobby!! Deal with it.

The third crush of mine was this typical nerd from 11th grade. He was this shy (nice) guy who became my friend after leaving school. We bonded over orkut, emails, and my sad stories about life where I used to do most of the talking. The problem here was he fell in love with a friend of mine, and I chose to remain silent about my crush. I guess it was for the best, we ended up being good friends.

Next was this blogger, I met here on WordPress. From cheesy mails, to supportive calls and his funny pjs, he seemed to have it all. He never looked good in pictures, except this one photograph where he looked kinda sexy. But he was proud and the timing wasn’t right and he never seemed to like me that way. And we ended up being friends (again), and I treasure our friendship because he was there for me in the worst phase of my life. (You were near perfect, my friend.)

Moving on, the next one is a guy I met in college two years ago and the only thing I wanted to do was to kiss him, nothing more, and nothing less. He’s what a friend of mine describes correctly as “just a pair of lips” and not a human being for me. It was insane, I didn’t like him at all, he was a male chauvinist, full of attitude but I had this huge “kissing crush” on him. I thank my stars that he left college before I could do anything stupid because I would have ended up regretting it all my life.

And then, my last one (until today) was a guy in college, a doppelganger of a Bollywood star. He was tall & handsome, with this sexy stubble that only added to his charm. But he was three years my junior and I was scared for being termed a paedophile (haha). What if he thought of me as this desperate spinster who stares at him, especially when he had the option to choose from so many hot girls around? Seriously how would you feel if this average looking senior checks you out?  The only respite was that he was dumb (that’s what his batch mate told me), and probably never got to know about my crush.

Let me have a look at him...

Let me have a look at him…

I have had many crushes since I got past puberty, but none seems to fit the “novelistic” perfect guy criteria. You see, the cute guy who respected me way too much, the hot navy guy I know nothing about, the nerd who talked way too less, the smart but proud blogger, the kissable male chauvinist, and the dumb Bollywood look alike, they were all good but weren’t perfect.

And what is perfection really? Isn’t it different for different individuals? I, for instance ended up falling in love with this guy who isn’t cute, funny, or has an amazing body. We are two average, ambitious yet lazy individuals who complete each other. While I am indecisive, crazy, and fickle minded, he sets definite goals in life, works on them and feels content with whatever he gets. He talks less, I talk way too much. I write, while he sucks at it. He is into gaming, while I am technologically handicapped. It’s like separately we are disasters but together we are a perfect team. And maybe, just maybe it is not about finding the perfect guy/girl but about finding the perfect combination. What do you think?

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(All images from google)

Lost and Wasted

It’s Monday night, you finish a novel you started reading just three hours ago and you end up crying. Not because the story made you feel sad but because you don’t know whether you’ll ever get your happy ending.  And you don’t know how to define “happy” here because what made you happy three years ago doesn’t make you happy anymore. You have moved on from the phase where a Taylor Swift song defined your life, you have tried a lot many bands but none seems to describe what you feel. Finding a meaning to your life through a song feels like a foolish thing to do, yet you keep on looking for quotations, last words of famous people, for coming of age movies, for those books that will change your life forever but none seems to help. You keep on waiting for that one moment which would divide your lifetime into two parts, for that point where your story would turn into a beautiful tale you always wanted to live but that never happens, the wait never seems to end. And you wonder whether all your dreams are nothing but a labyrinth that is too complicated to escape. You feel paralyzed by your own thoughts, thoughts that are too many to handle, and you look out for that one person who would ever understand you, who would know that you aren’t strong just because you act to be so, and that you aren’t weak just because you show your love, your vulnerability. What would you do if you find out that you are the only person that understands you? What would you do if you realize that you are your own hero and that no one is going to save you, except you? Would you be happy or would you be sad? Would you live or would you die?

As for me, I would put on my earphones and listen to,

“Remember when we were lost at sea?
We would look at the bright night sky
Thinking of, what we could be

What we could be
How to spend our lives
Remember when we had nothing left?
We were strung out in the cold
Holding on, trying to save our breath
Trying to save our breath
We would not let go
Whoa
Through the good, through the bad and ugly
Whoa
We’ll conquer anything
Cuz
One day we’re gonna come back
And laugh at it all
One day we’re look at the past
With love, love
One day we’re gonna come back
And relive those thoughts
One day we’re look at the past
With love, love
With love, love… “

(American Authors: Love)