Finding The Perfect Man

It’s hard isn’t it, to decide what you want from life, especially in cases related to your heart. I mean how do you go about finding the right guy for you? Who is this perfect man every classic novel, every chick flick raves about? One guy is hot, and the other one is oh-so-smart, one is the-nice-guy, and the other one is witty, but all in one, oh no, he doesn’t exist.

There was this one guy in school I had a crush on. Even if it isn’t the right adjective to describe a boy, but man, he was oh-so-beautiful. His cuteness level was beyond 100 on a scale of 10. But, he always treated me like some Goddess you know, and not in a sexy kind of way. Actually I was a class topper while he sucked in studies, so he always addressed me with all this respect like I am some kind of a nerd or something. He still does it, even when we are like almost a decade away from high school.  So, all his cuteness just withers out.

Hell yeah!!! Cute guy spotted...

Hell yeah!!! Cute guy spotted…

Then there was this really hot guy who went to the same tuition as me. It has been seven years since I last saw him but I still stalk him on Facebook. He’s in the Navy now, and that uniform has only added to his hotness. I really don’t know anything about him other than his apparently hot-looking-bod on the pictures he posts in Facebook but that doesn’t seem enough to hunt him down.

Yup..It's my hobby!! Deal with it.

Yup..It’s my hobby!! Deal with it.

The third crush of mine was this typical nerd from 11th grade. He was this shy (nice) guy who became my friend after leaving school. We bonded over orkut, emails, and my sad stories about life where I used to do most of the talking. The problem here was he fell in love with a friend of mine, and I chose to remain silent about my crush. I guess it was for the best, we ended up being good friends.

Next was this blogger, I met here on WordPress. From cheesy mails, to supportive calls and his funny pjs, he seemed to have it all. He never looked good in pictures, except this one photograph where he looked kinda sexy. But he was proud and the timing wasn’t right and he never seemed to like me that way. And we ended up being friends (again), and I treasure our friendship because he was there for me in the worst phase of my life. (You were near perfect, my friend.)

Moving on, the next one is a guy I met in college two years ago and the only thing I wanted to do was to kiss him, nothing more, and nothing less. He’s what a friend of mine describes correctly as “just a pair of lips” and not a human being for me. It was insane, I didn’t like him at all, he was a male chauvinist, full of attitude but I had this huge “kissing crush” on him. I thank my stars that he left college before I could do anything stupid because I would have ended up regretting it all my life.

And then, my last one (until today) was a guy in college, a doppelganger of a Bollywood star. He was tall & handsome, with this sexy stubble that only added to his charm. But he was three years my junior and I was scared for being termed a paedophile (haha). What if he thought of me as this desperate spinster who stares at him, especially when he had the option to choose from so many hot girls around? Seriously how would you feel if this average looking senior checks you out?  The only respite was that he was dumb (that’s what his batch mate told me), and probably never got to know about my crush.

Let me have a look at him...

Let me have a look at him…

I have had many crushes since I got past puberty, but none seems to fit the “novelistic” perfect guy criteria. You see, the cute guy who respected me way too much, the hot navy guy I know nothing about, the nerd who talked way too less, the smart but proud blogger, the kissable male chauvinist, and the dumb Bollywood look alike, they were all good but weren’t perfect.

And what is perfection really? Isn’t it different for different individuals? I, for instance ended up falling in love with this guy who isn’t cute, funny, or has an amazing body. We are two average, ambitious yet lazy individuals who complete each other. While I am indecisive, crazy, and fickle minded, he sets definite goals in life, works on them and feels content with whatever he gets. He talks less, I talk way too much. I write, while he sucks at it. He is into gaming, while I am technologically handicapped. It’s like separately we are disasters but together we are a perfect team. And maybe, just maybe it is not about finding the perfect guy/girl but about finding the perfect combination. What do you think?

***

(All images from google)

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18 thoughts on “Finding The Perfect Man

  1. The ultimate question, isn’t it? I think it’s just about making the perfect Relationship! Perhaps anyone out there could be the perfect guy for us, it would be just a matter of getting to know them properly, respecting them, fully committing and finding a way to love them.

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  2. Well… It is a sensible post from you after quite some time, for the starters. So, congratulations for finally making sense again and not obsessing over things that don’t matter in long run 😉

    Sarcasm apart, I think perfection (for most, if not all) is a relative concept for most. Its always in comparison to themself or some other reference they might hold. But for the rare sadistic few, perfection is an absolute concept. It is an end as well as means, which is difficult to comprehend. Why does a painter want the composition of colours exactly the way he saw in his dreams? Why does a microbiologist not sleep well with unexpected side products even when she probably got the main product?

    Moreover, most of us don’t crave for perfection ( which also goes well for the pursuit of perfect partner). They think they want it, though, because its the fashion now a days 😉

    If you ask me, perfect partner is someone you want your children to grow up to be… Think about it 🙂

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    • Yay!!! Finally… 🙂 I guess it was difficult to write after that gap of one year. I was trying too hard to be perfect and always ended up being miserable. I really wanted to write something and most of the posts are the result of whats going on in my mind in a specific moment, which is not in a happy state these days.

      Anyway, that is an intriguing thought…but I don’t think I want my children to be like my current boyfriend, may be in some ways but not the complete package . 😉 I don’t even want them to be like me, or my parents or siblings. I don’t think I have even met that kind of person yet. I think I just want different qualities from different people. If only I could genetically create a baby, coding for all the traits I want, and inserting specific base pairs into her DNA, then she would be perfect, for me, if not for other people.
      Lo ab mai finding a perfect partner se creating a perfect baby mai chali gayi. Why do you give me such ideas?

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  3. I totally agree with you on the “perfect combination” point. 🙂
    And for whatever it’s worth, my idea of a perfect partner would be – the one you’d wanna stick with even after you’ve known them for an excruciatingly long time. Because you see, most of the love steams away after the initial mystery phase gets over. 😀

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    • That’s true… But the thing that steams away is not love. The infatuation, excitement, the butterflies in your stomach, those things wither out but love stays. I think a perfect partner is someone whom you like with all their faults, and weakness. And in case of girls they are truly attracted to boys whom they can change, they want them to have a fault, so that they can have a lifetime “project”…haha. 😛

      Liked by 2 people

  4. My 2 cents: Nobody (boy/girl) is perfect and hence it is always wise to find someone where looks should not be the top priority at all. Reading your post made me understand you rate looks very important 🙂 However, it is a personal choice but most of the times perfect man or perfect lady is an Utopian concept.

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    • Well these boys were just my crush… nothing happened. You see I didnt even talk to some of these guys ever in my life and half of these are people whom I liked in my teenage years so that’s why it seems like looks are what I prefer. 🙂 although I have been in a relationship with a guy for five years now and if you ever see us together you’ll find out what an odd looking couple is. We look that bad together. :p and as my friend said perfection is a relative concept. What is perfect for me might not look perfect for any other person. In matters of love, it all comes down to how much we want to make it work with all its imperfections.

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  5. Hi.
    The best thing apparently about this post that it was so interesting and full of honesty and serenity…. that around 3:30 am I am reading it with full of energy as if I just had a powerful nap…..

    You were brilliant the way you are… Guys or girls are not perfect …. but they certainly make a perfect relationship… as perfect environment which will allow each other to grow….

    Loved it..
    Take care!

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  6. Hmmm from experience now I have learnt one thing. Nothing is perfect. . Although we can work towards it. .
    And after reading this I understood one thing and the reason why I never had a girl friend in college well I was too ugly :(..

    Should have had good looks he he he he..

    Ok jokes apart I think it more of where you are.. or what situation one is that attracts us to others..
    As they say beauty lies in the eyes of beholder..

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    • Oh god! Why is everyone thinking that I only like good looking guys. That wasnt the point. These were just pure teenage kinda crushes. I didnt evn talk to some of these people. And seriously I dont have the aukaat to get such good looking guys in my life. And I am pretty sure you look 10 times better than my current guy. Seriously it doesnt even matter in the long run. Beauty fades, character doesnt.

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  7. Now I totally liked this post 🙂 Its so true 🙂 crushes are generally made on appearance that’s why they crush you 😛 isn’t it ? your crushes reminded me of mine 😛 ha ha 😀 no one lasted more than a month 😉 So yes I agree with you when true love finds it’s way every criteria you made or note you made seem too blurred and the only thing that you see is love all around you 🙂 and yes there is nothing as perfect partner or love .. Happiness in love comes when you live with your other idiotic half 😛 accepting each other 🙂

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