Sometimes I wish I could fast forward my life. Like I could wake up one day and find a different world. When all these troubles are left behind and I find the answers to all the questions I have now. I am tired and frustrated of this life. I don’t know how to live anymore.
And I know even if I wake up after five years and find a new world, there could still be questions or frustrations but I am okay with that. I do not want a bed full of roses, but I want new struggles, new questions, a new life.
I don’t know where I went wrong with this life. And I know one must look at people who have it worse than you. But what about those people who have it much easier.
I like this quote from one of my favorite books,
“I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won’t tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn’t change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have.”
― Stephen Chbosky,
This is what I have and it is hard to live. You spend years of your life hoping that someday it’s gonna be alright, that your day would come soon. You struggle, you cry, you try be a good human, you trust yourself, your beliefs but nothing happens.
I don’t want a perfect life. I just want a hope, a sign, something to tell me that there is something better for me. That this would all be worth it someday.
I am going to regret writing here but I need to do this.