When I started blogging, I used to write almost anything that happened in my life here and probably that is the reason why blogging felt like therapy. I could let out my emotions, my anxiety, my insecurities without the fear of being judged by people. Now, I don’t write down my thoughts as clearly as I want to because:
A. Too many people know about this blog, friends as well as strangers who became friends. And to write about my constant failures in a world which is obsessed with showing off their best life in social media seems foolish sometimes. I mean people like reading about success stories, the rags to riches gossips, those anecdotes from the life of people who made fortunes overnight but my life is an example of how you fu*k up everything, how you never find success and keep on waiting for “enlightenment”. And I don’t think even my actual friends understand the kind of life I am living right now. It is tough even to breathe sometimes and no one wants to hear that.
B. Blogging has been corrupted by the Instagram and Facebook population, diseased by the fad of instant likes and reactions. I mean who are these people who leave 10 likes/second on my blog. Do you read with the speed of light?
C. And again, what is with these misogynistic and Islamophobic posts I see in my reader these days. A few months ago I happened to check one of my follower’s blog and my blood boiled in anger when I read an entire post about how women are responsible for getting their a** fuc**d (in his language) and how he would use a women for sex if she wears short clothes but would only marry a “cultured” girl. That unapologetic, entitled, sexist, egoistic, male made me vomit. If anyone reading this has the same kind of thoughts, feel free to unfollow me and run in the opposite direction. People who believe all Muslims are terrorists could do the same thing. I am instantly going to block those people who spew filth in the name of religion. I spent most of my childhood in a Muslim family, the first girl-friend I made was a Muslim and if you are going to write shit about people and call them names just because they follow a certain religion then you are a disgrace in my eyes. I don’t think the blogging world deserves this. Well, I don’t think our actual world deserves this. The word needs kindness and tolerance not divisive politics.
Anyway, I am sorry if I am subjecting you to this negativity. I just feel like I should write about these things because this is what makes me feel better and this is what I am. I am lost and life is just not fair to me and my guy and the only thing that gives me a little relief is this blog. I don’t even care about privacy anymore because the government, facebook, google is anyway spying on all of us, they might as well read this and understand that there is no point snooping on already fuc**d up individuals. Haha…