To Be Continued…

/ Mona

I am taking a break from the world. A break from everything—- blogging, internet, social media, texting, emailing, and from people. At least for a while.

Life is a little  rough right now and has been so for the past three years basically. I am unable to get out of this rut.

I try to be positive and happy but nothing seems to get better. Every time I try to keep my blog a positive place and end up failing to do so. How is someone supposed to be positive if nothing positive ever happens in her life.

I know and understand that many people around the world are going through so much pain and unhappiness right now and I try to help them. I try to be as kind to people as I can. And if I find no way to help them I cry for them, I pray for them even though my hope in God diminishes with time. I still pray.

But how do I help people when I can’t help myself.

Everything I have ever wanted in life, love, career…seems to be a distant dream right now. Like I have failed in every aspect of life and it seems like a big question mark.

And how do I dream big when even my smallest, tiniest, little, petty, negligible dreams never come true.

There were times when I used to console myself saying that when something good would finally happen in my life I would forget all the difficulties I am going through right now. Every pain would diminish, and all this time would feel like a bad dream. But this bad dream doesn’t seem to get over.

Life is nothing but a bad dream repeating itself all over again.

Does this ever get better?

I hope to find a way soon. Till then I’ll be away from this place.

Tell me, it is all going to work out in the end. And that this isn’t the end.

 

 

 

24 thoughts on “To Be Continued…”

  1. I’ll miss reading whatever you have to say while you take this time alone. I’ve struggled with similar feelings and I know how discouraging they can feel. Just to let you know though, your voice is powerful even when it isn’t positive, because your voice is always real and that shines through in your writing. I hope you come back soon, and I hope you keep fighting for the happiness you deserve❤️

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  8. (((Hugs))) Mona. I can understand your choice to step back a little. But don’t go totally.
    I have been in the same situation previously. But I found if I aimed to stay positive on my blog it helped to keep my outlook a bit more positive in life too.
    Dark times come but they pass.
    Everything always works out okay. If it’s not okay it means it’s not the end yet. 💜

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  9. Traci referred this in a group that supports bloggers on Facebook. I had to come over and say hello. There is so much personal pain in your post and you should know that in this you are not alone. Many of us have been here and can understand what you are saying. Often social media can distract from your own needs. When the dark places come in another blogger once told me this… a hierarchy of self.

    My needs
    everybody else’s needs
    My wants
    Everybody else’s wants,

    It’s short and simple. Many might say it’s selfish in pecking order. It’s not. Not for someone in your position. Helping others before yourself is fine unless in doing that it’s not helping you. You can help others yes, because you know what it feels like. I’m the same. It gives you insight into the darkness that paralyses us. Watching the train of life leave the station with you still on the platform.

    It can get better yes. Seek help, never sit on it. There are people you can talk to without judgement. If I have one thing to stress built on personal experience…don’t think about help….get it. You may already be doing that…but if not do so. I didn’t….for to long and it’s so hard to dislodge even now. X

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  12. Pingback: Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You! | Pain Pals

  13. Mona, your post is honest, heart breaking and refreshing in equal amounts. I also find it incredibly inspiring and hope that you will find what you need to get you through this dark patch. I have actually shared your link on my regular feature Monday Magic Inspiring Blogs for You! as I think that a lot of the chronic illness readers who follow me will also totally “get” this. Please reach out if I can help, Claire x

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