Have you ever tried the Myers-Briggs Personality test? Though I am not someone who would want to fit into a box of stereotypes, but by God, that test describes me to the t. I am an INFP, and as much as I hate being this pathetic mess, I can’t help it. Although an introvert, I tend to overshare with people I find trustworthy, even strangers. There have been so many people I met while travelling who know my entire life story. I don’t have a test to determine who to trust, just pure intuition. Of course, I don’t share my bank account details or passwords but personal stuff, like the things I write here. Once you have entered my inner circle, I am a pretty open book. You would know about my weirdest fantasies to my make-out stories. You would know all about my failures to my secret ambitions. I can never be unauthentic. I wasn’t like this when I was young, but I developed this coping mechanism when I turned 22-23. If I can just be honest about all the shitty things in my life, why would anyone else talk about it behind my back?
In one of my last conversations with Ak, he asked me to be a little skeptical of people and not trust anyone blindly. He was someone who didn’t open up to people quickly while I was an open book. I don’t use a filter when I talk about my life, so people find it normal to open up to me. Some of them might not even be in my life anymore, but I am pretty sure they’ll remember my stories. I have a terrible memory, so don’t even expect me to remember theirs except for some scandalous ones.
I don’t know where I am going with this, so let’s just stop here. I know this post had nothing substantial, but it helps me to relax. Years later, it would be nice to come back here and read my midnight thoughts. I don’t know what the future entails, but I would like to know what it was like to be me. I wish I had a blog when I was a kid; It would have been amazing to revisit the best times of my life.
Anyway. I will survive this… one day at a time!