Weekly Photo Challenge: Glow

It has been a while since I participated in Weekly Photo Challenge. Mostly because I like clicking pictures of nature mainly mountains, flowers, insects but it’s hard to spot such things in Delhi. Now that I am at home. I do post photographs sometimes in Instagram. I don’t claim to be a photographer, and I don’t even have a legitimate camera but photography is something I enjoy. I was going through this week’s challenge and thought what could be better than posting Diwali pictures for ‘glow’ theme but then it turned out to be a different kind of ‘glow’. Guys at WPC wanted us to post pictures taken at the Golden hour which is is the time of the day before sunset or after sunrise, when the light is soft and glowing.

Luckily I came across these beautiful creatures a few minutes back. I hope they do justice to the theme.


For Weekly Photo Challenge.

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The October Sky ( or Celebrating Diwali) 

I have a hard time deciding my favourites, be it a book, a movie, a song or a moment. I am always in two minds everywhere I have to make a choice but when it comes to my favourite month, I undoubtedly choose October. It is that time of the year when it is neither too hot, not too cold. You just get over summer, switch on your fans at daytime and use a light bedsheet to cover yourself at night. Especially here in my hometown, the air is mixed with the smell of ripe paddy, marigold flowers, and mild smoke from burnt crop residues. It creates an aura of its own. The sky is mostly clear and you could see parrots flying up above or perched on guava trees, enjoying the left over fruits. Everyone is busy with cleaning their houses and re-painting their walls before the festivals kick in. People are either travelling to their hometowns or are prepping up to welcome children, grandchildren, relatives. It is such a calm and peaceful month. Diwali, being my favourite festival, increases my likeness for the month of October. The whole atmosphere during Diwali takes me back to my childhood. And nostalgia envelopes me in a warm hug.

The preparations for Diwali are in full swing these days. This evening we put up fairy lights all around our place. Some of the lights have gone bad this year and I would probably buy more tomorrow.

Home sweet home!!!

This year I tried my hands at something new. Everyone in our neighborhood make idols of Goddess Laxmi using sugarcane, sticks etc every year. Owing to her disability, my mother can’t do so as it requires both hands to arrange all that stuff into an idol. So, I tried my best and built up this-

I made this!!!!! Can’t believe my eyes!

I know it’s a little childish but it’s the first time I have built something like this. I am not at all religious like my parents and stay away from such Godly things but I was so proud of myself when I saw my final creation. I know it’s lame but to hell with it. I built this. Haha…

I do miss old times when I was a kid and would wait all year round for Diwali and celebrate it madly with my siblings. They don’t come home for diwali anymore. They have their own families now. Yes, I do curse them, especially my brother, but I guess me and my parents have learnt to live without them. We don’t even expect him to come over anymore. All my life, living at rented apartments, government quarters, I dreamt of having our own house someday. A house, we could put up lights on, a backyard to burst crackers, an aangan to make  rangoli.  Finally, after my father’s retirement we did built a large house, one with several rooms, large garden, an aangan, a backyard but our family wasn’t as big as before. Two of the kids flew away to built up their own families.  I guess, I didn’t just want a house, I wanted a home but it never came into existence.

Argh, I didn’t want to make this a sad post but that’s the thing about writing here, it brings out your thoughts in ways even you can’t imagine.

I am a big Diwali freak so most probably this won’t be my last post about Diwali and this magical month of October. I hope you are enjoying the festivities with the ones you love.

Have a great Diwali!

Here and There

So yeah, I am here, currently suffering from a serious bout of writer’s block and depression. I am not exactly a textbook case of depression. I mean I laugh, I talk to people, I have fun but my mind, it never stops thinking. It just goes on and on. I am thinking to try yoga or meditation but I have no idea about how to get started. I mean, I guess one needs to calm his/her mind to meditate, right, but that’s what I am unable to do. Or is it the other way round? Argh, I don’t know. Life is just so fucked up! There…I used the f word. Me, the girl who never swears. But that’s how fucked up life really is. 

Sometimes I feel like maybe God (or whatever superpower there is) wants me to learn many lessons in life. Like my life is nothing but a day to day account of what not to do with your life. Like I am destined to run after things that I could never get. This is the reality of my life. But I guess, I am just not learning those lessons. Or may be I have much more learning to do. 

Year after year of thinking what went wrong in my life, I have come to a realisation that I am my worst enemy. I lose this battle of life against myself. Like I am not able to overpower this lazy, procrastinating, useless part of me and built up my life. 

I once read it somewhere, that the only direction you can go after you hit rock bottom is up. But I am just not able to see it right now. I am in a ditch. I want to go up but everything is holding me back. I just can’t see an open door right now. It has been a long time. A really long time. 

I am here but I am really not here. And I don’t know where I want to be. Does life ever gets better? If it does, I’ll probably write a book about it and I’ll give it the title, “What not to do in Life”. 

You all would get a free copy. Signed. Of course. 

The Village Diaries-2

“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. … There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature — the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.”

—Rachel Carson, Silent Spring

Lush green fields in the neighborhood.

A group of Mynas in our courtyard.

An old cat trying to hunt birds on a bottlebrush tree.

Migratory birds perched on top of mango trees.

My aunt’s new born calf. She would probably be a cow by now.


The Village Diaries


“There you’ll find the place I love most in the world. The place where I grew thin from dreaming. My village, rising from the plain. Shaded with trees and leaves like a piggy bank filled with memories. You’ll see why a person would want to live there forever. Dawn, morning, mid-day, night: all the same, except for the changes in the air. The air changes the color of things there. And life whirs by as quiet as a murmur…the pure murmuring of life.”
(Juan Rulfo)

***

There was some problem with this one so I had to repost this. I don’t have much time these days but I want to keep this blog thing going on. I don’t want to abandon it as yet, so I’ll keep posting some pictures or quotes. Bear with me.

Gupshup-3

1. I love sleeping. It is undoubtedly the best thing in this world, along with food of course. If you had met me 2 years ago, you wouldn’t have heard me say this. All my college life, I hardly slept. It felt like a waste of time. I spent my time either talking on phone, or watching movies or gossipping all night with my friends. I used to feel like I would miss out on other things if I wasted my time on taking a nap. Coming to this day, when I would give up everything to sleep peacefully for atleast 7-8 hours. It is the only time in my life when  I am not stressed. Life is good only when I sleep.
2. I have my exams from the 26th of this month. 4 days, 7 exams, 3 hours each. Yeah, kill me already! I am not at all prepared for it. And I know I won’t be prepared even if I get another 6 months. Anyway, my only strategy is to fill the pages and not leave anything. Such strategy worked perfectly in college. I highly doubt it’s gonna work here.

3. I am addicted to my phone. And that is so not good for my studies. So, I have uninstalled all the social media and timepass apps from my phone except for WordPress. It is my only connection with the outside world.

4. One of the paper in my upcoming exam is of Hindi language. Now, I haven’t studied Hindi since almost a decade.Yes, it is my first language but all the grammar and stuff is too difficult. It is not the Hindi we use in daily life. It’s a highly pure and authentic form of official hindi language. I am too scared to write that exam. The worst part is if I flunk that, it wouldn’t matter if I have done well in the other 6 subjects. They won’t even check the other papers if I don’t get pass marks in Hindi.
5. Do you ever think that if a certain incident wouldn’t have happened in your life, your life would be completely different? I often think of the day when my mom had a stroke and how my life turned upside down. I know there are people who come out of even greater miseries than that and I really respect them. But, I don’t know why I feel like along with her my life was paralysed right there and then.  Like my whole life is a movie, and right before the interval this incident happened and life never remained the same. And whatever I did, whichever path I took in life, nothing seemed to take me to my happy ending.

Well, that’s life. Whatever happens, we have to face it with a smile on our face.

So, I was reading hindi idioms today and one of them was “ naak ka baal hona” which meant ” bahout pyara hona“. Hehe, so I told my mom, ” mummy, tu meri naak ka baal hai re” I know, too gross!! Par kya karen, yahi hamari bhasha hai bhai! Hehe

A flower from our garden… Just because I wanted a picture in this post.

‘Cause you are a sky full of Stars

One of the perks of living in a small town, especially near the hills is that you get to see a sky full of stars. You can go to your rooftop, look up and witness a sea of twinkling lights all over the sky. The rationalist in me likes to remind me that they are nothing but large astronomical bodies made up of hot burning gases but the romantic me refuses to listen and dreams about spending a night under the stars with someone I love.

The night sky makes me think of God, of ghosts, of how we evolved, how we came into this world and how someday we would cease to exist. 

When I told my four year old nephew that Oreo has died, he asked me whether he has turned into a star. Somehow a simple lie that we tell kids made me feel better. The idea of lost loved ones watching over us from above, however absurd it is, soothes my soul. 

As I watch the moon come up, outside my window I feel lucky just to be alive, to be with people I love, to know that as of today I don’t have to locate too many stars in the sky. Yes, Oreo could be there somewhere but for now, I have all my loved ones with me, right under this sky. 

Let the sky just be romantic for now. Let the stars shine for us. 

Can you see stars outside your window? Do they remind you of someone you love or someone you loved and lost? 

Just an old picture of the moon I took years ago. Don’t have a camera good enough to capture stars. Someday, may be.