Saathiya Style Wedding

I was probably 13 when I first watched the movie Saathiya, and being a die hard romantic I loved it to the core. It was an epic love story for me- guy meets the girl at a wedding, he falls in love, follows her everywhere, makes her fall in love with him, they elope to get married, defy their parents, romance through phones, live together, fight, and end up together after a series of misunderstandings and  tragedies. What stood out for me in the whole movie was the way in which the leads get married. Ever since I saw this movie, I wished to get married that way- go to a temple with your friends, sign the documents, look coyly at each other, smile, pose for photographs,  go back to your respective houses and wait for the right time to disclose your marriage. How the teenager in me loved that dreamy world!

But as I entered the world of adults I realized that nothing of that sort happens in real life, Bollywood earns by selling us those false dreams, life is too complicated to wrap up in just 2-3 hours. My Saathiya dreams took a backseat, and reality crept in.   But unlike me, there are people in this world who do take inspiration from movies. So, a few days back I heard about this couple who got married Saathiya style.  They were in love for more than 6 years but being from different castes, it was impossible for them to convince their parents for their union. In total filmy style they decided to get married secretively, and to wait for the right time to tell their parents about it.

For 2 years they kept their marriage a secret, no one knew about it except some close friends. And then came the day, when the girl’s parents came to know about it through an outsider. They called up the guy’s parents. After a lot of arguments, blame games, murder threats, the families gave up, and love triumphed.

They have been married for five years now and are proud parents of a little girl. They fought for their love and won. Many people will call them foolish, irresponsible for the way they got married, well, hate me for this but I call them true lovers. How many of us have the courage of doing something stupid and face its consequences? They believed in their love and followed their heart. Life is all about taking chances they say, so is it wrong to take chances in love? Probably not…

Well, how can I finish this post without telling you the moral of the story, as in for me-

My dreams of a Saathiya style wedding are back. I’ve told my guy that if ever we decide to elope, we will do it the Saathiya way and that I’ll of course run wearing a lehenga, I can’t dream of getting married wearing shorts, or jeans. That would be gross. Location koi bhi ho, mandir, court, ya arya samaj, shadi to mai lehenge mai hi krungi. And good news is that, he has agreed (as always) but he has asked me to complete all the formalities, legal work etc. (as always).

Henceforth, I wait for my wedding day…With the song Mangalyam  on my mind.  Ab thodi filmy life toh chalti hai na yaar…?

Love this song and this scene from the movie…. 🙂

Disclaimer- I am not getting married tomorrow. This plan will be executed after 7-8 years if required. Please guys stop wishing me luck…I am embarrassed. Gosh..I am just 22. (#^.^#)

Making A Choice- Love or Family???

Recently I saw an advertisement in a newspaper about the upcoming sale in a jewellery store. I asked my dad to check out the advertisement, you know in case he wanted to make some jewellery for me, he could do that in cheaper rates. I was actually fooling around but my dad took the advice rather seriously. He declared that he has gone bankrupt after the marriage of my siblings and has nothing left for me. He then said that I should find a suitable guy myself and he’ll only come to the wedding to bless me.

OKAY, my dad said this. I mean MY DAD!!!!

To find a guy myself- matlab a love marriage!!!

I pinched myself just to make sure that it wasn’t a dream.

It wasn’t. He said that for real.

I asked him again, ” Are you serious?”

And he said, “Yes.”

Just when I was busy imagining my till-that-moment-almost-impossible wedding, my dad said, ” But…

(Here comes the BUT in between)

But…

– He must be a Brahmin.

– Just not a Brahmin, but a Kumauni Brahmin. Brahmins from other regions are not allowed.

– He must not be from our Gotra.

– Our horoscopes must match and for that,

-He must be a manglik.

Lo, Ho gayi meri shadi!!!

Matlab what am I supposed to do? If ever i find a guy, am I supposed to give him an application form, listing the eligibility criteria for falling in love with me? I’ve heard about family planning, Now am I supposed to do love planning? And can love be planned? Isn’t it supposed to be a coincidence, a mutual acceptance of one’s assets and faults?

Does the matching of caste,color,creed,class or planets guarantee a successful marriage? I don’t think so. I am not a pro in the subjects as crucial as marriage but i do know that love, understanding, and mutual respect are essential for any relationship to succeed. Unfortunately many Indian parents fail to match these aspects.

I am myself in a relationship with a guy from another caste. We are too young to think about marriage but we do hope to spend our lives together if our relationship succeeds. But for that to happen I’ll have to make a choice and by far I am not strong enough to choose him. And I don’t know if I’ll ever have the strength to do that.

All my close friends were in relationship with guys who either belonged to different castes, region,religions or same gotra, blame it on our education, our so called modern beliefs, the freedom we got or whatever. But eventually they all gave up, some tried, some remained mum. Almost no one among us, decided to fight for love. Is it because our love wasn’t strong enough or are we all a bunch of cowards?

Would you sacrifice your love for your family?

What would you do if you’ve to make a choice?

[ While trying to write a funny post I ended up getting all serious about it. Why can’t I Laugh over Love? To compensate for that, I am adding the following pictures ]

True Story!!!
True Story!!!
Not Quite sure about that!!!
Not Quite sure about that!!!

Indian Relatives: Y U No Mind Business Of Your Own

I hate weddings and i hate relatives and neighbours even more. They have this habit of making you feel inferior in every situation. Well, there’s a wedding nearby, and for that my mom had to wear a saree. Usually she wears salwar kameez, but for these special occasions, due to peer pressure (yes, at this age), she has to wear sarees. As her hand is paralysed, she can’t do this herself, she has to depend on neighbours. So this neighbour/relative was there few minutes ago, who ridiculed me for not knowing how to tie a saree. She didn’t say this in front of me (for her own good) but i could hereher from the next room. The way she was boasting about how her daughter knows how to tie a saree beautifully, much better than her and how i being so grown up must know how to do it. And it felt miserable when my mom had no words to defend me. I wanted to throw her out of our house the very moment. But i would only be considered more bigadi hui if i would have done that. I wanted to tell her the things i knew, or i could do. I can culture a leaf explant and create lakhs of saplings from it, i know who’s the president of Egypt when her daughter wouldn’t even know who’s of India ( i know its lame,but its okay ).I can even work on fields, i love doing that when their chui mui girls won’t step out in the open fearing they might turn a shade darker and consequently won’t get a guy . Yes, that’s the way they treat their girls, they never educate them, they get them married as soon as they turn eighteen. The only aim in the life of girls here in my small town is to get married( that’s what they are taught, to be a good wife, not a woman) even if the guy is a drunkard who’s unable to stand straight on his own marriage. But i am the loser here, because i don’t know how to tie a saree.

My aunt ( My father’s sister) is another one among my tormentors. She ridiculed me right from the time i was a kid, just because i didn’t know how to cook.  While all her daughters knew it very well and mind you she has six daughters… and you know the reason for that, don’t you, all in the hope of getting a son, the chirag. She pinpoints mistakes in everything i do, not only she but also her daughters, all the five who are married and the sixth who is younger to me and behaves as if she’s my grandmother. And seriously none of them is educated more than me, still they make me feel like a fool.

Relatives play the most important part in the life of an Indian. They start from the very day a lady is pregnant, they’ll tell you to eat oranges so that the baby is fair, they’ll tell you not to eat eggplant because then you would give birth to a female. ( seriously i don’t know how can eggplant change the sex of a foetus, but i’ve heard this one from a doctor couple whose daughter-in-law was pregnant, needless to say i stared them in disbelief), they’ll advise you about everything. After the baby is born, they’ll give you the probable names and suggest astrologers to make the baby’s horoscope. After that they’ll suggest schools and tuition teachers. They’ll compare their kids with yours, they’ll make you feel inferior because their kid touches feet and says pranam while your kid only greets people with a namaste, the competition starts right from childhood. After that they’ll drive your kid insane so that he gets a percentage well above 90 in his boards. They’ll ridicule him if  he opts to learn commerce, instead of trying engineering or medical. They’ll force him to rethink his decision.

Marriages are the favorite subject among relatives. As soon as they see a girl of marriageable age, they start emitting electrons here and there, they are so excited to get you married. They weren’t that excited even for their own marriages. They just can’t see single girls in front of them, they feel pity for them, a feeling of social service takes over their senses and they look out for every possible guy. The situation is the same for guys, only that it starts a little later, only when they start earning. They won’t breathe till they  shower their blessings on you and your partner ( and eat in your reception).

Once the wedding gets over, they start speculating whether the girl has conceived or not. Its been 8 months to my brother’s wedding and every neighbour asks my mom, kuch hai?, a direct question, that means is your daughter-in-law expecting. My aunts have actually terrified my sister who has been married for two years with no kids. The only question they ask her, every time they meet her is, when are you going to conceive. That too in purely arranged marriages, which in our community means that you are not even allowed to talk on phone before you get married and you know what, some of them actually have kids exactly in nine months, that means you start a family with a guy whom you don’t even know in the first place. Well, that is a different problem which i’ll talk about in another post.

So, the cycle completes itself, from the time you are a foetus to the time you create one, every decision in your life is influenced by relatives. And it is an inevitable fact of our lives, a sad and a bitter truth. We all are forced to live of the society,by the society and for the society.

I Won’t Rest In Peace

There are no tears in my eyes as I leave this place,

Nor do I feel any pain, no emotions on my face.

This soil now smells of my blood,and

The air is mixed with ashes of my existence.

All my dreams lie shattered on the floor,

My life has ended, destiny has closed its doors.

I wanted to live, wasn’t given that right,

I was silenced even before I could fight.

As my soul rises above, I could see people out on the streets,

Why didn’t they come out to cover up my battered body, at that time of need?

It wasn’t just me who was tormented that night,

Each mark on my corpse depicts a woman’s plight.

Whom should i blame is the question on my mind,

The government,culture or people, they are all the same kind.

The moment you demand justice for me, raise your voices in a protest,

A girl somewhere meets the same fate as mine, her voice is supressed.

And my soul wanders along with those who were snatched the right to live,

We were killed just for being women, none of you can we forgive.

We won’t rest in peace if you just hang a person or two,

You can’t change the world, until you bring a change within you!

courtesy:indiatoday.in

courtesy: indiatoday.in

When Humans Turn Into Devils

A medical student in her twenties, who was traveling with her male friend in a whiteline bus from Munirka to Uttam Nagar area in west Delhi, was allegedly gang-raped by a group of men inside the moving bus and thrown off the vehicle near Mahipalpur in south Delhi on late Sunday night. Read the full news here.

The girl lies in a critical condition in an ICU battling for her life as her male friend lies in another, as he too was beaten up by the molesters. A movie night turned into a nightmare for these two young souls. The girl, a medical student and the boy, a passed out engineer and a civil services aspirant wouldn’t have thought to witness such a night in their lives. But, it happened. The girl was gangraped by five men in a moving bus, after beating up her boyfriend with a rod. The girl has been hit with a blunt object and besides injuries from the sexual assault, her whole intestine has been damaged.

As i read this news, however hard i tried to forget about it and focus on my studies, i just couldn’t. What i did was read more about it, and while doing so i came across many comments below this news. Comments by fellow Indians, blaming Shiela Dixit, Delhi Police, Hindus, Muslims ( a rape can instigate communal riots in our country), bus drivers, education, hormones, the list goes on. What no one thought about, was the condition of that girl. The news channels got a new thing to discuss, bloggers like me got a new post, police got a new job in hand,but what about the girl. What did she get? Lifelong scars, fear, or probably death. Soon enough we’ll also get few people questioning the girl over what she was doing with a male friend at 11 pm in a bus. A certain sect of people in our country believe that modernisation, mobile phones, television, and even chowmein are responsible for the growing crime rates against women. To clarify the doubts of such people i would like to write about one such incident that i can never forget. Infact whenever i read or hear about rapes, the same incident come across my mind.

It is a really old incident, probably in the late 1990’s or early 2000’s when i was around 10-11 years old. I lived in a really small town not a modernised city like Delhi. There were no cell phones. The only channel we watched was Doordarshan. Like everyday i was reading the newspaper and in the front page  was the news of a women who was raped at her own house. Her son was first murdered in front of her eyes( hit by an iron rod) and then she was raped by 3-4 men who were hiding beneath the bed in the daytime. As soon as it was dark, they came out and raped her. The lady here wasn’t a modern(in indian dictionary) girl who could surge the hormones of these innocent men by wearing provocative dresses but a married young woman with a 5 year old kid. She was infact the wife of a man working in the Indian army, who was posted elsewhere during the time of the incident. I read this news and i didn’t understand anything, though i knew that ‘hatya’ meant murder, ‘Balatkaar’ was too difficult a word to understand at that young age. I was a kid, i didnt knew what happened. I understood all those terms when i grew up. Why this incident is still so fresh in my memory is because, i saw those 2 dead bodies. The mortgage was very close to my home, i just went nearby to buy something and saw those two bodies wrapped in white cloth. And i instantly realised that those are the bodies of the people i read about. I still can’t forget that, not even after all these years.

This incident is about 12 years old, but as i thought about it and about this Delhi girl today, i can’t help but cry, cry for their loss, for the pain they went through. They were punished for no fault of theirs.

The police can find those suspects, there could be court cases, they could get Death penalty for this heinous crime ( which i don’t think they will in our country) but could we ever make them feel what this girl felt last night. No, we can’t. Though i strongly believe that rape is the cruelest crime, i don’t think that death is the ultimate punishment. Death means freedom. It won’t help anyone of us to make that girl feel any better. If somehow we accept or digest the thing that a single person raped a girl, i just can’t believe how could five people turn into devils at the same time. Why didn’t their conscience stop them, not even one of them? How on earth can someone be so brutal?

As i write about it here, that girl is fighting for her life. Last night when all of us were securely sleeping in our rooms, that girl was getting raped in a moving bus, in front of her boyfriend. What could be more terrible. Death? I don’t think so.

I could have been in place of that girl. It could have been my friend, or my sister. Or you. I am scared, i am crying, i don’t know what to do about it? I just can’t take it off my mind.

Can she really live again? I don’t have any answer.

http://mtv.in.com/blogs/general/just-in/national-capital-region-of-shame-50154671.html?india

Bhaiyya, ye husband kitne ka diya?

A friend of mine has finally managed to find a guy for herself. Actually her father has finally managed to buy a husband for her. After months and months of bargaining, the price (dowry) has been decided. It is Rs. 12 lakhs in cash+ lots of gold+ a CAR and mind you,  it must not just be a car, but a CAAARRR!( Hope you’ve seen that CAR commercial)

The Bride’s family members are very happy, specially her mom. Okay, you must be surprised by her happiness like I was. Why is she so happy to give away such a huge amount of money? Well she has 3 male children, after the only daughter. Jitna jaa rha hai usse three times jyada wapas aayega. And adding to that, the first son has done an MBA, and is working abroad. Yippee, ye to jackpot hai!

In her exact words, ” Uska to 30 lakh se kam koi dega hi nahi.”

To me it sounded like I am in a sabji market.

Kaka, is baar aloo ki fasal kafi achchi hui hai, iska 20 Rs/ kg se kam to milega nahi.

My friend told me its very common to put a price to guys according to their profession or qualification. He told me that the rate of a Thelewala is around 1.5 lakh. As I was thinking about the thelewala, a really interesting situation came to my mind. What if there was a market to sell husbands? How cool would be that!

All you have to do is imagine a market, lets call it the Dulha street and a thelewala selling husbands on his thela. And there are two girls, Mona and Sona, out their to shop for a husband for Mona.

Thelewala: Husband le lo, husband. Naye naye, fresh husband!

Mona: Hey Sona, look that thela there, it seems to have a nice stock.

Sona: Chal jake check kar lete hain.

Mona: Bhaiyya, Mere liye husband chahiye.

Thelewala: Aao aao madam, yahan sab type ke husband milenge.

Sona: Bhaiyya, Soch samajh ke dikhana, sasta or tikaau hi chahiye.

Thelewala: Ye lo madam, bilkul fresh maal hai, Aaj hi aaya hai. MNC mai kaam krta hai, eklauta beta hai. And apna khud ka family business bhi hai.

Mona: Ahaan, Baki sab to thik hai but iska complexion mujhse match nhi hota. Jara dekh na Sona.

Sona: Haan yaar. Not at all matching. Thoda or dark hona tha. Ye cancel bhaiyya. Koi or dikhao.

Thelewala: Ye lo madam, engineer hai, 25 years age, Young and dashing!

Sona and Mona started whispering: Ye sahi lagta hai. He was too cute.

Mona: Bhaiyya ye husband kam or boyfriend material jyada lagta hai.

Thelewala: To boyfriend hi bana lo madam. Uska to daam bhi kam hai.

Mona: Daam kyun kam hai iska?

Thelewala: Arre madam , husband mai background check, family check, income check sab karna padta hai. Or upar se lifelong warranty deni padti hai. Boyfriend to temporary hai, and i’ll also give you 2 years warranty.

Sona: Or agar ye 2 saal se pehle dhoke baaj nikla to?

Thelewala: To 70% cashback ya on the spot replacement.

Sona to Mona: Yaar this is good, jyada risk bhi nahi hai.

Mona: Have you gone mad? Mom asked me to buy a husband, not a boyfriend. Tujhe to pta hai, Mom ko faltu kharch bilkul pasand nahi. And they don’t even have a background check on boyfriends. What if he turned out to be a fraud?

Sona: You are right. Bhaiyya, boyfriend nahi chahiye, husband hi dikhao.

Thelewala pulls out another one. The guy has long hairs, exactly like Salman Khan in Tere Naam.

Mona screams: Kya Bhaiyya, Itna purana stock kyun dikha rhe ho. Ab Dabanng ka jamana hai, Tere naam ke din gaye. Waise usse yaad aaya, aapke pass Salman Khan nahi hain, wo bhi to bachelor hi hain na.

Thelewala: No madam, wo designer maal hai, kahan local market mai milega? Or jahan tak mujhe pata hai, Salman Khan abhi kahin bhi available nahi hai.

Sona: Achcha bhaiyya, but koi pirated ya duplicate to milega na?

Thelewala: Kyun nhi madam!Ye lo, London based MBA hai and very rich family. Only for Rs. 25 lakh.

Sona and Mona checked out the guy. He was good, smart, handsome and an NRI. Ye to jackpot lag gaya hath!

Mona: Bhaiyya, iska price thoda jyada hai. Kuch to kam karo.

Thelewala: No madam, its a fixed price shop. And I’ve told you very less price. Or jagah ye bahout costly milega.

Mona observed him closely. She found something wrong with his nose.

Mona: Bhaiyya, iski to naak tedhi hai. Manufacturing defect hai bhaiyya, ab to discout dena hi pdega.

Thelewala: Kahan madam, kuch bhi to nahi hai.

Mona: See Bhaiyya, ek to defective maal upar se full price, ye to galat hua na?

As Mona was busy arguing with the thelewala, Sona was checking out other shops and suddenly she screamed.

Sona: Hey Mona, look there. Those are the shoes we were looking out for ,since so many days. You know na, they are so in these days.

Mona: OMG, look those are the blue ones i always wanted to buy. Lets go there.

Thelewala: Par Madam , ye husband?

Mona: Arre bhaiyya, baad mai dekh lenge. pehle hamein shoes lene do. Sona, run before they get sold out.

Thelewala: Madam stop, I’ll give you 10% discount. Wait madam. Please.

No one could stop the two girls now. Not even a discount!

Thelewala looked at the NRI dulha and said: Ab tu yahan kya khada hai? Saala din hi khraab hai. Ek bhi dulha nahi bika. Khali peeli time waste ho gaya. Ja apni jagah jake khade ho! Hurrrr… nalayak!

The two girls came out of the shoe store, satisfied with the shoes they’ve just bought.

Sona: Maje aa gye yaar, we finally got the shoes. But yaar ghar jake danth to nahi pdegi. Yaad hai na husband lena tha.

Mona: Chill yaar. I’ll tell mom ki koi achcha hi nahi lga. And didn’t you see that board, it says there will be a new years sale in January. Jab same maal aadhe price mai milega tab le lenge.

The two girls went home, taking with them the shoes they wanted so badly. (You know girls right, they’ll go out to buy furniture and bring back hairclips, shoes instead of a husband is no big deal!)

*****

And as I write this story here, I sincerely hope that like passing of the FDI bill has paved  the way for a Walmart store in India, soon we can also have a Dulha market. And to lessen the burden of dowry, government should introduce subsidy in dulhas. We can’t have subsidized LPG cylinders, but we can have Subsidized Husbands, right?

The Bride, Who Died!

The day I first saw him,

I fell in love,

For the first time.

He was everything I ever wanted,

The man of my dreams,

We were engaged soon,

And in a month was our wedding.

We talked over phone sometimes,

As we weren’t allowed to meet,

The first time, he told me he loved me,

I could hear my own heartbeats.

Finally the day arrived,

The day I wore a red dress,

And he got down from a white horse,

Looking like a handsome prince,

He stretched his hand for me to hold,

And I did just that,

Among rituals, chants, blessings and more,

We vowed to be one till death.

With a heavy heart and tearful eyes,

I left my home for a new life…

*****

The first day at my new home,

I already knew something was wrong,

Since the very day, I was treated like trash,

I was cursed as I didn’t bring enough cash.

The prince charming lost his charm,

The very day he bruised my arm,

Hurling abuses, he said he never wanted me,

All he wanted was more money.

I was sent back home, to fulfill their greed,

But there was nothing left with my parents to give.

Everyday I was told, I was a burden not a need,

With each moment I lost my desire to live.

I thought things would change with a budding life inside me,

I was proved wrong again, I was beaten up till it bleed.

Unconscious, I laid on the floor, all I could smell was kerosene,

I had no strength left to fight, and then the fire crept in.

I could see smiling faces behind those burning flames,

I smiled back at them, felt no pain, as I was going to a better place.

And all miseries came to an end, as my soul left that burning flesh!

Death is peaceful, easy.

It was life that was hard.  

 [One woman dies in India every hour in a dowry related case. Came across one such incident in today’s newspaper, it was pathetic. Is there an end to it? I’ve no answer. ]

The Arranged Marriage

And they met one day,

Two strangers,

Ten minutes to decide on their lives.

Few questions asked,

Infinite unspoken words,

And the decision was made.

Three months passed,

And they met again,

Only on their wedding day.

Stolen glances,

Hidden smiles,

Endless emotions in their eyes,

No one could say, it’s their second meeting,

Looked like they knew each other since years,

They already seemed so much in love.

Love that has only grown with time.

And whenever I see them I wonder,

How did they know it would be alright?

‘They just knew it’, they say,

An inner voice told them,

They were born to be one someday.

Love never ceases to amaze me,

Sometimes we find love in moments,

And sometimes it takes an eternity.

The First Touch

 [Inspired by my own sister’s arranged marriage. Found it really difficult to understand how they took such an important decision of their life in ten minutes, but when i see them now, i can’t help but smile to see the love they feel for each other. The love and friendship which has only grown in two years]

Another Love Story From ‘Two States’

When people from Hollywood are busy falling in love with vampires and werewolves, folks here in Bollywood (read India) and not allowed falling in love with humans from different states. Although they all share the same set of 46 chromosomes ( Stephenie Meyer told us that vampires have 50 and werewolves 48), they just can’t fall in love. And if they do, that is not at all good for their lives. And I really do mean LIVES here. But before asking any questions about this, I am going to tell you a story.

So, here we go….

THE PAST

Rituparna, our Bengali bala was a 19 year old girl when she first came to Bangalore, completely unaware of how her life is going to unfold in the next four years in college. A teenager, who had never been in love before, met a guy and she fell in love with him, the day she saw him. Yes, it was love at first sight. The guy, one year senior to her was from the same state, community, caste etc and he proposed her soon enough and Rituparna was in seventh heaven when he did that. They started dating, and everything was a dream come truly for her. Just few months in the relationship and the guy started behaving strangely. He ignored her, never received her calls, and never replied to her texts and eventually he broke up with her. And when she asked him the reason for the break up, he didn’t answer. He just said that he never loved her. That’s it and nothing else. Rituparna was shattered. Her world had come crashing down on her. She did everything to save her relationship but in vain. It was her first love afterall. But nothing worked out. He just left her like that. That day and the six months after that, she was lost. She cried and cried, got drunk, never stayed in hostel, got low grades, did every single thing to hurt herself more. She was miserable, till Sameer came into her life, a classmate and a friend. He supported her, cared for her and even if he got her drunk (on her demands), he would always drop her back to hostel. There was friendship, there was understanding and most importantly there was trust in their relationship. Eventually Sameer fell in love with her (he liked her since the day he first saw her but she got to know this later) and proposed. Rituparna wasn’t ready for a relationship. She has had a bad experience. Adding to that Sameer was not Bengali. He belonged to a really affluent and conservative telugu family. There was clearly no future for the two of them. And therefore she declined. She was happy being friends. They spent a lot of time together, roaming, shopping, fighting, and studying. Sameer and Rituparna were soon a very talked about couple in college. Everyone thought they are dating when infact they were not. Slowly, Rituparna developed feelings for Sameer. She was scared of a relationship but she wanted him to be with her all the time. After almost 7 months being friends they went official with their relationship. They were in love. And from that time till today, two and a half years later they are still in love with each other. They are still friends but in love.

THE PRESENT

Rituparna and Sameer are working in two highly reputed companies in Bangalore. Sameer is also involved in his family business. Rituparna and Sameer both are twenty two. Rituparna’s parents are pressurizing her to get married as she is getting ‘so good rishtas’ now which she won’t get later. Sameer is not ready to tell the truth about their relationship to his family. If he does they’ll both be dead (yes, literally, have you heard about honour killing?). Besides, he’s just twenty two, no guy gets married at such a young age. And the telegu family is never going to accept a Bengali bahu for their ‘ghar ka chiraag’. And as Sameer is not ready to tell his parents about them, Rituparna has no other choice but to get married to a guy of her parent’s choice.

And that’s why they BROKE UP last week.

THE QUESTIONS

1. She fell in love with THE RIGHT GUY (same region) the first time, why he proved himself to be the wrong one.

2. When the guy and the girl love each other so much, what is the need for them to break up?

3.  Do guys from the same state prove to be better husbands?

4. Why is maa- baap’s izzat more valuable than their child’s life?

5. Do we all belong to 28 different states or to one INDIA?

6. Can you think of a solution other than break up?

7. Is 22 really an age to get married just because she is getting good guys? Why cant she get those good guys 2 or 3 years later?

MY TAKE

The Bengali bala I talked about here is the girl with whom I’ve shared the same room for three years. She might be selfish (don’t mind haan roomy) but she loves this guy like anything. And Sameer is one of the nicest souls I’ve ever met. I can tell you I’ve never seen a more decent, caring and fun loving guy in my life. They are just perfect for each other. But the Bengali- Telegu thing is never going to take them anywhere.  Don’t you think if only people are allowed to marry outside their region the hate crimes would only decrease? Don’t you think if a girl from north east was married to a guy from the south, she would have felt more secure in the last north eastern trouble in India? If a Marathi boy got married to a Bihari girl, she would never be called an outsider in Mumbai? And why is so hard for parents to accept that their so called kids who are now adults have a right to choose their life partner?

I named this post as ‘Another Love Story From Two States’ because the great Chetan Bhagat has already written a whole book over it. But alas, not everyone is as lucky and determined as Krish and his wife in ‘2 States’ or the most recent movie ‘Vicky Donor’ where a Punjabi guy marries a divorcee Bengali girl. We can all have a happy ending in movies or a novel but not in real life. In reality, many Rituparna and Sameer have to choose different paths.

It is said that more than 1000 people are killed every year in India because they marry outside their caste or religion.  And these are just the reported cases. There are many others which never come into notice. You can take a glance on the cases of honour killings in India here.

By the way, do you all know what the best part in ‘2 States’ was? It was in the end when the nurse asks Krish about which state his twins would belong (as he belonged to Punjab and his wife to Tamil Nadu) and he answers her that they would belong to a state called INDIA.

Don’t we all belong to INDIA indeed?  What do you think?

P.S.: I won’t mind falling for a vampire or a werewolf too. If only I was allowed to do so…

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