there is no God? Or nothing called destiny? This question has terrified me several times. Many sociologists believed that religion was invented to mislead us into believing that life is well and if it is not, it’ll either get better or you would go to heaven and have an awesome afterlife. If you are suffering today, it is either because of your misdeeds in the previous birth or because you are going to reincarnate and lead a great life ahead.
Religion, Malinowski believed is nothing but a source of hope and relief, a way to alleviate anxiety. I didn’t give this much thought before but now, when I feel like I have nothing to believe in, it makes me very anxious. The only thing that keeps me going in moments of despair is this thought that I am a good person, so God must have written something substantial in my future. I console myself every single time that good things are nearby, that I must wait for my destiny to unfurl a glorious life. Whenever someone comments things like there is no God or that no one is watching over you, a shiver runs through my entire body.
I am not much of a religious person. I used to be one, few years back but slowly I stopped participating in rituals, going to temples (unless absolutely necessary), or do anything practically religious. But I have always believed that there is some kind of superpower that is looking after us. That, we get the things we deserve, that good things happen to good people. But sometimes, something happens and I feel like if there was a God, such things shouldn’t have happened. And slowly, panic sets in. Questions, like what if all this is a sham clouds my mind.
I think about Marx and his famous quote, “Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people” and wonder what if I am high on God, and what if life is nothing but an endless struggle where no door is ever going to open up for me.
I really want to believe in SOMETHING. Something that keeps me going…