I normally don’t follow daily prompts, but this one today caught my attention: Write the About page for your blog in 10 years. And I’ve decided to give it a try. Here we go….
I started writing this blog about 11 years ago, when I was a clueless, 21 year old girl. I was going through a hard phase in life, was broken, depressed and lost in the complexities of life. I think of the decade gone by and wonder how boring it would have been if not for the tricky situations I had to face in every sphere of life. The journey of my life as documented in this blog is a journey of a young girl who fell in have with herself over time, who discovered joy in giving rather than receiving, who fought against injustice and biased societal norms, who learned to let go and face new challenges. It hasn’t been all rosy. I’ve lost friends, trust, love, exams, money, dozens of umbrellas, and thousands of pens but slowly and steadily I’ve learnt to live without them, to accept changes and their outcomes.
The decision to put an end to my chaotic life in big cities and move back to the homeland I left 18 years ago has proved to be blissful. This is where I always wanted to be, a midst mountains, the smell of mud and burnt wood, lush green trees and snow. I live here with my husband (we still fight a lot), our lovely little daughter, two dogs and a cat. He hates them all except his own progeny.
The people I met over these years through this blog have inspired me in million different ways, some even proved to be great friends at times of need and despair. The journey I started here as Pseudomonaz, proved to be more real than the virtual life I was actually living. The acceptance I got here, gave me the confidence to live my own true life. The last decade has been the most eventful time of my life and with new hopes, dreams and independence, life has only begun at thirties.
Welcome to my world… 🙂
This is how I imagine my ‘about page’ in the next 10 years. The only thing I would like to change is my poor vocabulary and bad grammar. I hope I am a much better writer than I am today. 🙂
I was in my room,
On my bed,
With my cat,
Sleeping on my lap,
Staring at my phone,
Except two, no one called!
Obviously I never wanted it to be like that but that’s how it was. Off late, i am kind of used to being alone. Living with just my parents in a new town, i don’t have anyone to talk to, except two of my friends who stay miles away from me, so basically we just talk on phone. But, i don’t feel lonely anymore. I can spend hours sitting idle, without telivision,texts,phone,internet,books, anything. I don’t get excited to celebrate such special days now, be it new year, my birthday, diwali or any other festival.
As we grow up, we lose interest in so many things which used to be so important to us at some point of time. Am i the only one feeling that or is it a general phenomenon? Well, i don’t know. Sometimes i feel i’ve really lost that innocent little girl, running down the lanes of her small hilly town, wearing those colorful frocks, enthusiastic for every small festival or day. The one who exists now is a girl who wants to relive her past, hates her present and is scared about her future.
Where were you last night when 2012 turned into 2013? Is that where you’d wanted to be?
Dear fourteen year old me,
That highly spirited girl, young and free,
Here’s a letter from the seven year older ‘you’,
The one you’ll eventually grow up to be whatever you do.
These seven years are going to change you into something you never wanted to be.
But we’ll talk about you today, that ‘you’ in my history.
Do you still cry while going to school?
Mamma’s little girl that you are, do you still hate mondays?
That cocoon, you made a shelter for in our terrace,
Do you still hope to find a butterfly there someday?
And that small lemon tree, that you planted,
Has it grown out well?
Does mamma still beats you for the silly mistakes you do?
Don’t worry honey, she’s gonna stop it in a year or two.
Do you watch that series on TV?
The one with your favorite love story?
I know you are crazy about it, the way I used to be.
Do you dream of having your own house painted red and white?
I won’t tell you anything about it, let it be a sweet surprise.
Do you play with snow, and dance in the rain?
If not then do it as much as you can,
Because soon enough this world is gonna tell you,
You are too old to do that.
Do you wait for that guy, you had a crush on,
To look at you and smile,
Start spending more time with him,
He’s gonna be there only for a short while.
For now just, live. Laugh at yourself and keep moving ahead.
Because as days are passing by,
You are going to get a million reasons to cry,
Make yourself strong enough to face some harsh truths,
And bold enough to lie,
This world is gonna break your heart, a countless times,
Make you taste all the flavors of life, you never wanted to try.
But don’t give up on your dreams and your life,
I assure you, you’ve definite seven years and more until you die.
Here’s me wishing you all the luck,
Till we meet again,