The October Sky ( or Celebrating Diwali) 

I have a hard time deciding my favourites, be it a book, a movie, a song or a moment. I am always in two minds everywhere I have to make a choice but when it comes to my favourite month, I undoubtedly choose October. It is that time of the year when it is neither too hot, not too cold. You just get over summer, switch on your fans at daytime and use a light bedsheet to cover yourself at night. Especially here in my hometown, the air is mixed with the smell of ripe paddy, marigold flowers, and mild smoke from burnt crop residues. It creates an aura of its own. The sky is mostly clear and you could see parrots flying up above or perched on guava trees, enjoying the left over fruits. Everyone is busy with cleaning their houses and re-painting their walls before the festivals kick in. People are either travelling to their hometowns or are prepping up to welcome children, grandchildren, relatives. It is such a calm and peaceful month. Diwali, being my favourite festival, increases my likeness for the month of October. The whole atmosphere during Diwali takes me back to my childhood. And nostalgia envelopes me in a warm hug.

The preparations for Diwali are in full swing these days. This evening we put up fairy lights all around our place. Some of the lights have gone bad this year and I would probably buy more tomorrow.

Home sweet home!!!

This year I tried my hands at something new. Everyone in our neighborhood make idols of Goddess Laxmi using sugarcane, sticks etc every year. Owing to her disability, my mother can’t do so as it requires both hands to arrange all that stuff into an idol. So, I tried my best and built up this-

I made this!!!!! Can’t believe my eyes!

I know it’s a little childish but it’s the first time I have built something like this. I am not at all religious like my parents and stay away from such Godly things but I was so proud of myself when I saw my final creation. I know it’s lame but to hell with it. I built this. Haha…

I do miss old times when I was a kid and would wait all year round for Diwali and celebrate it madly with my siblings. They don’t come home for diwali anymore. They have their own families now. Yes, I do curse them, especially my brother, but I guess me and my parents have learnt to live without them. We don’t even expect him to come over anymore. All my life, living at rented apartments, government quarters, I dreamt of having our own house someday. A house, we could put up lights on, a backyard to burst crackers, an aangan to make  rangoli.  Finally, after my father’s retirement we did built a large house, one with several rooms, large garden, an aangan, a backyard but our family wasn’t as big as before. Two of the kids flew away to built up their own families.  I guess, I didn’t just want a house, I wanted a home but it never came into existence.

Argh, I didn’t want to make this a sad post but that’s the thing about writing here, it brings out your thoughts in ways even you can’t imagine.

I am a big Diwali freak so most probably this won’t be my last post about Diwali and this magical month of October. I hope you are enjoying the festivities with the ones you love.

Have a great Diwali!

Lights, Camera and Fun

The festival of lights is here and I am more than excited. There is this vibe in the air that makes me feel so lively. Added to that is the feeling of being at home. Although I am super busy till December but my mother’s blackmail and my own homesickness brought me back to home. Diwali is my favourite festival. I like the lights, the flowers, the rangoli, the food, the crackers, the rockets, the weather, the cool air blah blah blah…the list is endless. Since the day I came back home I have been pestering my dad to put up the Diwali lights. But recently one of our distant relative from our village died which made us “impure”, so we were forbidden to do any sacred work during these ten days. (Yes, stuff like that happens, I am from a small hilly village guys!!!). Luckily the ten days got over today and we are all set to celebrate Diwali. I have forbidden my parents to take any call from our village now days so that no bad news reaches us till Diwali is over. Since two days I have been singing a song in front of my parents which can be roughly translated to, “every tom, dick and harry has put up lights, when would our number come lalalala?” (I am bad at translations, please put up with me)

My obsession with Diwali, lights and crackers isn’t new. I have always been like this. When I was a little girl, we didn’t have a house of our own, we either stayed at my uncle’s place or government quarters. I always dreamed of having our own home, a place we can put up lights on Diwali, a place with a small garden and a swing in it, a little room of my own where I could put up posters and hide my diaries. It’s only after my father’s retirement that we got our own house, but by then I was a BIG girl, who has to stay at random places, study and grow up. It’s only during holidays or festivals I get to stay here. And it’s a great feeling. Having a house of our own is actually one of my dreams that has actually come true.

So, my sister and her husband came to visit us today. He is actually the one who gets the duty to put up lights at our place. I had asked everyone to come wearing their best dresses since I was hoping to have a family photo session today. Well, I should have realized by now that it is extremely difficult to get our family in one frame. My dad didn’t have an ironed shirt; every time I asked my mom to smile she looked like someone is forcing her to eat something bitter; my nephew kept running here and there so most of the photographs had people looking in different directions. I did get some photographs but they look nothing like what I wanted. But you know, sometimes memories are more precious than photographs. For a long time now, my parents’ age and health has been a constant thought in my mind. Looking at them, I sometimes want to freeze the moment so that I could be with them a little longer. Taking more photographs, recording their calls is my way of freezing the moments.

 Growing up is difficult thing to do. That’s why I still like to be a child in few occasions. And festival like Diwali is such a day for me. Do you have days when you feel like or want to feel like a child? Let me know.

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Lights and Happiness

Where There Is Light…

Diwali has always been my favorite festival, right from the time I was a kid. I remember the days I would emotionally blackmail my uncle, aunts and cousins to get me more and more crackers. Those days in my hometown…. wahan ki baat hi kuch aur hua karti thi. Poora sehar dikhta tha hamare ghar se, or wo multicolored lights se saje hue ghar, unhe khoobsurat kuch or ho nahi sakta. I just realized while writing this post that its been 10 years since I  last celebrated Diwali  in Pithoragarh. God, that was a decade ago!! I miss my place, specially during festivals like Diwali and Holi. Its not like I don’t enjoy celebrating festivals in other places, its just that, nothing is as beautiful and fun as it was in my hometown.  Sach mai, wo din or wo yaadein, baat hi alag thi. 

After celebrating Diwali in Bangalore for many years, which was sometimes good and sometimes very depressing, I was ready to see what Bengal has in store for me. This was my fourth Diwali without family and by this time I am pretty accustomed to celebrate festivals all alone. And since the day I’ve accepted this idea of celebrating things with myself, without depending on others for happiness, good things are actually happening to me. Unlike the times in Bangalore, where I used to cry all the time thinking about my loneliness, specially during festivals, I did manage well here. I guess that’s the way life is, it surprises us the day we stop expecting anything from it. I am trying to apply that principle to the other parts of my life as well. If I succeed in doing that, I am gonna be a really happy girl.

Right from the morning when I earned the first salary of my life ( from part time tuition), to the lazy afternoon, the dressing up and photo sessions in the evening, to bursting crackers and having home made food for dinner, it was a great Diwali. There are some dark, depressing situations in my life, but there are moments like these, the ones filled with hope and light, they brighten up everything. This Diwali was truly the festival of lights for me… overshadowing the worries and complexities of life.

How was your Diwali? Did you celebrate it with your family, went for a long vacation, or did something different? Let me know…

Diwali!!!

Finally diwali is over. And it wasn’t that bad. After a gloomy day i had fun once we started lighting candles and diya. Our whole family was together after a really long time. Actually one of my really close friend called me. because of my no contact policy i wasn’t picking up his phone since months but yesterday when he was the only one calling me, i couldn’t control myself. I talked to him, and you know i laughed so much after so long. He has even threatened to kill me if i don’t pick up his call ever again. Our friendship is really strange, we  know each other for the past twelve years, long time i know. And he’s such a person who has always made me smile no matter what. I am gonna write about our relationship in detail, in a separate post. He is really important to me. Even though people ask me to stay away from him. I just can’t. Well, he is special. 🙂

As for diwali, my mom cooked a lot many things but i couldn’t eat anything because this sunday i had a mild food poisoning. I am just relying on fruits since the last 3 days. This always happens to me. I always fall sick during festivals. Poor me. 😦

A didn’t call me. He was as always busy with his family. I called him at night wishing him a happy diwali. Later i texted him, saying i am not well, and as expected he didn’t say anything. Unlike my friend he’s someone who always manage to make me cry no matter what.

Well, yesterday i learnt something. We should never ever let those people go away from our life who really care for us. My friend whom i secretly used to call my angel is such a person, although people call him a devil. Well, i am telling you he’s a really really bad guy but he is a great friend of mine. His one call made my day.

Some of the pictures i clicked yesterday. I am really bad at it but i wanted to post these here. Please don’t mind.

I love this pic

Goddess Laxmi’s footsteps

Fuljhadi…

Fireworks

Our really happy cat during diwali

I hope you guys enjoyed your diwali too… 🙂

Laptop Problems :-(

My laptop sucks big time. You know that’s the reason i wasn’t able to blog and how suffocating it feels. I have become so addicted to blogging. It’s all inside my mind now. So many things going on in my life and i cant write because of this stupid laptop. I’ve plans to buy a new one this Diwali though and i’ve started  collecting funds for that. You all know, i am broke so i’ve to ask all my folks for money.
I hope to collect enough money to buy a laptop and anyway its diwali time so i am quite sure i’ll get that much. I am missing out all the fun here. I’ve not read any blogs. I’ve to reply to so many comments but i cant because i dont know when this will again shut down. I’ll reply to all your comments and tags as soon as possible. Oh, i miss blogging. This was the only thing i enjoy in my boring life. 😦

I hope this starts working or i get a new one soon.

Wish me luck for my Laptop charity program. Chanda poora ho jae and mere sare bhai behen, mama, mousi khule dil se contribute kren. Yaar ye bhagwan bhi na, mera aakhiri sahara bhi mujhse cheen rha hai. 😦