Now That You Are Gone

I check my phone a million times a day,

Hoping for your texts or a call,

I wait anxiously from dusk to dawn,

But there’s nothing, no sign of you,

Now that you are gone.

I relive old memories of us,

That rainy afternoon when we first met,

To the stolen kisses on that overcrowded bus,

Teary eyed I inhale the smell of your absence,

Now that you are gone.

I dream of you sometimes,

Far away in a distant land,

You walk away, leaving me alone.

I flounder to meet you even in my dreams,

Now that you are gone.

***

I wrote this poem in response to this week’s writing challenge in which we have to take inspiration from any of the 50 word stories that are been given there. I have written it in response to the story “Regret” by A lady in waiting:

“Gazing at the quaint street below, Nick watches couples come and go. Kids are playing with a soccer ball. He remembers the flea market open for the weekend in Long Island City. He lazily says “We should go.”

Nick turns toward the empty bed. He remembers now, that she’s gone.”

Weekly Writing Challenge: The Distance Between Us

If it wasn’t for the internet, I would have always thought of him as the guy who made me cry by scoring a mark more than me and securing first position in 7th grade.

If it wasn’t for Orkut, I would have never known him personally, never ever have interacted with him in any way.

If it wasn’t for mobile phones, emails, text messages, and video chats, I would have never fallen in love.

Modern technology has played quite essentially the most important part in shaping up the story of my love. Although we knew each other since the time we were 10, we never really liked each other. I always prayed for him to leave school and my prayers were answered after 7th grade, as he left the city to study in a different state.  He was out of my mind and my life until the day when we met in Orkut, the then famous social networking site. The scraps in Orkut soon turned into mails and the mails into phone calls. I was going through a rough phase during those times and the only time I was happy was when I talked to him. After a series of never ending phone calls and numerous texts, we turned from just being friends to best friends. The words we spoke and the words we wrote laid the foundation of a beautiful relationship. We were undoubtedly in love but with a distance of almost 1400 miles between us and with the uncertain future of an inter-caste relationship, it was difficult for us to acknowledge our feelings. We did give in eventually, as it became impossible to hide our feelings from our own soul. There wasn’t a particular date, when we confessed our feelings to each other. I still don’t know the exact time, when our conversations through mails started changing from those of friends to lovers.

The real problem though, was not of falling in love, it was easy, but of keeping that love alive, especially when we had the disadvantage of not being together physically. In these 3 years since we have been together, there were times when I longed to see his face, or wished for nothing but a hug, but all that I could get was a text or a call. There are numerous things I don’t know about him yet. I know the smiley he would send me if he is angry but I still don’t how he looks when he’s angry.  On those rare occasions when we meet, the initial few hours are spent in accepting the fact that this is the same person we talk to for countless hours through phone. By the time we get comfortable with each other, the time to part ways sets in. But those few hours we’ve spent together till today have been inscribed as the most beautiful memories in our minds. If we can make so many memories living at a distance, how wonderful it would be to finally spend the rest of our lives together. This thoughts keeps us going, makes us work hard to make it work. The pain, the separation is worth the happiness.

We’ve shared our dreams and hopes for the future, we’ve shared our embarrassing secrets, the desire to do senseless things, the disappointments and fears we have. We’ve fought over silly things, hurt each other only to forgive and learn from those fights. We’ve always found a way to shorten the distance between us. Our love hasn’t faded because of the complications we’ve faced in life because at the end of the day we trust each other. And trust is what matters the most, be it an online or an offline relationship. If you’ve the belief that you will find true love someday and will strive to make it work, then you surely will, no matter what. You may face many glitches on the way, but one or the other medium would help you to overcome those glitches.

In these three years we’ve created a world of our own. We may not be perfect for each other, but every step we take in our lives; it is to get closer to that perfection. We may have sacrificed few things on the way, but it doesn’t matter much. Love after all is worth giving up everything for, yet feel good about it. It has always been this way, be it the 18th century or the 21st and I believe that it’ll always remain the same.

We clicked this picture sitting on the shores of the holy river Ganga, this month when I met him after a gap of one year. I wish our love remains as pure as the water of this sacred river.

We clicked this picture sitting on the shores of the holy river Ganga, this month when I met him after a gap of one year. I wish our love remains as pure as the water of this sacred river.

 

 

Written for the Weekly Writing Challenge.

Weekly Writing Challenge: A Day Together

couple-embrace

The long wait would end soon,

And I would meet you today, this afternoon.

Its been long since I met you the last time,

I’ve missed all those wonderful moments when your eyes met mine.

I’ll wear the dress you gave me this valentine,

I just wish that everything turns out to be fine.

***

As you hold my hand and walk with me down the street,

I forget everything else, with you I feel complete.

I am lost in your eyes, I can’t hear a thing you say,

I can spend my life just watching you, come what may.

You bring me back to my senses, as you touch my cold nose,

I smile as you say you love me, like always you say it with a rose.

***

Its six in the evening and you say its time for you to leave,

Seeing my eyes well up, you ask me to cheer up and not to grieve.

I capture all these moments we’ve spent together in my heart,

You touch my face and kiss me one last time before we move apart.

We hug as we move down the alley, amidst the sounds of the tram passing by,

With a smile on my lips, and tears in my eyes I bid you a final goodbye.

***

[I am attempting the Weekly Writing Challenge for the first time. The picture reminded me of all those days I’ve spent together with my guy. Being miles away from one another we rarely met, and even when we did, it was either at the airport, or railway or bus stations. Just once we got a chance to roam around a city, and the picture reminded me of the first and awkward hug we had at the airport that day. The poem I’ve written is not my story but its neither entirely fictional( Meeting you was more of my actual story).I know that desperation of meeting your love after a long time, the awkward initial moments, the feeling of being together for few hours and then finally parting your ways. I loved writing this one. :-)]