The Mandatory Birthday Post

When my sister called in today to ask if I am excited for my birthday, I told her no one likes to celebrate old age. Well, I used to be excited (which is a huge understatement) for my birthday until I turned twenty five. Now, this day just reminds me of how I am getting older every moment with almost none of my dreams looking to materialize in real life. The only unique thing about this birthday of mine is that I am sick since last few weeks and would spend my day sleeping and watching random videos.

I don’t like the depressing tone this post has attained so I would like to write about the things I did achieve since the time I turned twenty five. These aren’t great achievements in monetary/ professional fronts but have actually helped me in certain inexpressible ways.

1. Ever since I turned eighteen I was very confident that I would never learn cooking, like never ever in my lives. Any day I entered kitchen I either broke or burned something, and thus my mom had pretty much debarred me from the kitchen. However in the past two years, I have not only learned to cook but I enjoy it. I have made chicken dishes, Chinese food, local pahadi food from scratch, and can pretty much cook anything (thanks to Youtube).
   

   

   

   
2. I was a Shopaholic, like mad about buying clothes, shoes, bags during my college days, especially with the extra stipend I was getting during my PG. And I used to buy useless things; clothes I would never be comfortable wearing, shoes that hurt, and cosmetics I would never touch etc. I have now controlled my shopping urge. From being called a wasteful spender to pretty much being called a miser I have come a long way.
3. Right from childhood, I never hesitated to help anyone with what I had, money, food etc except clothes. I associated memories with the clothes I wore and could never give them away even if I knew someone needed them. I don’t do that anymore. Last year I donated a number of clothes to little girls around my place and it felt good. Someday, if I become able enough to help more people in any way I can, I surely would. It somehow fees like my calling.
4. I have had acne all my life. There was a time when my only goal in life was to wake up one day and see a spotless face in the mirror. I have struggled to accept my face the way it is almost my entire adult life. I have let acne run my life, like literally missing meeting friends, attending parties, events, etc because of how ugly I looked. However, slowly I am coming to terms with it. I used make up for the first time last year as I didn’t want myself to get depressed over the disheartening taunts of my relatives. But make up just made me feel more inauthentic. I never used it again. Random people in metro comment on my face and it does hurt me more than it should but I am getting better. There are people in the world who have so many things to worry about than some useless skin disorder. I can live with it.
5. I have tried to improve my lifestyle in recent times. I mostly eat healthy. I am pretty sure that I am over my soft drink addiction and I have tried cutting down usage of ecologically harmful products. I wash my face with honey instead of face wash. I wash my clothes with soapnuts (reetha) instead of detergent. I try to buy organic and eco-friendly products wherever possible, especially from micro or small village industries. It not only helps me to lead a healthy life but also helps small farmers or innovators in certain ways.
6. Last but not the least; I have learned to be happy. Contrary to how my blog sounds like, I am not that much of a depressed person. There was a time back in college, when I was too angry on people, on my parents, on myself for how life turned out for me even though it wasn’t half bad as it is now. I have controlled my anger to a great extent. I do have episodes of anger /depression/crying a few times even now but I calm down sooner and I don’t brood about LIFE the way I used to. I am okay.
7. Oh…. how can I forget, I even learned to change diapers, not just filled with pee but poop too. This has to be my greatest achievement especially as I have no intention to be a mother ever. My mom still can’t believe that I cleaned my potty smeared nephew with my bare hands.

Well, I started writing this yesterday and my birthday will be over in another hour. 31/01/2018 was so different than the day I imagined it to be around a decade ago but what good it would be it life was so predictable!

To many more unpredictable, mysterious years…let’s see where life takes me!!!

Black and White Photo Challenge #7

Because it’s his birthday today. And the only thing I bought for him was this cake. Apart from that, I lied to my entire family, made up great excuses so that we get to spend one day together.

Love is hard, especially when you have to hide your relationship from a lots of people, when you both are broke, unmotivated, and in a mess. But  I can still say that all our miseries are nothing compared to the love we feel for each other. Our tragedies turn into comedies the moment we meet. We laugh, we fight (a lot), we clean and cook together. We prefer lying in our bed,  than going out and enjoying a day in the sun. We bitch about people we mutually hate, and sympathize with the same people sometimes. We are completely different yet so alike. I don’t know how to say this but we are very wrong for each other but we are wrong in the right way. 

***

Orange nominated me for the Black and White Photo Challenge and I am so thankful to her for that. I can’t remember the last time I blogged so consistently. And even though I broke all the rules of the challenge, I am glad that I completed it today. Yay!!! 

Happy Birthday to Me

Tomorrow i.e. on 31st January is my birthday. This one’s gonna be the most sober birthday in these 22 years of my life. Unlike the earlier years i don’t have new clothes to wear, i don’t have a cake and i don’t have any gifts. Few people will call me and the day will pass like any other day. Though it sounds like that but i am not complaining. The people who really love me will call me, even if they won’t due to some reasons they’ll at least think about me once and that is enough for me. I am the one who has chosen to live this way. I must not complain about it.

Last year’s cake. My boyfriend calls me MPS. No one knows what it stands for, that’s why they wrote it on my cake. 😉 and i won’t tell what it means. He has never given me a cute name and like all names given by him i hate it too.

I am not happy, I am not sad, I am just okay and sometimes its okay to be okay. I recently read the book “The Power” by Rhonda Byrne. This book has inspired me and i am starting to believe in the law of attraction. We do get the things we really want in life, we just need to have faith and believe on the power of our dreams. We must love the things we want in our life. Love has immense power, the power to make dreams come true. And in this new year of my life i’ve decided to be optimistic about life. I’ve decided to be positive and hopeful, to believe in the power of my dreams. I don’t know how all this works but i want to believe that it does work. I don’t know where life is leading me, whether i’ll be able to get into a college or not, but somehow i want to believe that i’ll. I am not going to be a pessimist anymore. And i’ll try my best to be positive even if life forces me not to be that.

So keeping all my wonderful birthday memories in my mind, i am going to start a new year. I don’t know how its going to be but i do have faith that everything will fall back into place. I read a quote recently in one of the blogs, it said,

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born
and the day you find out why.”

Its been 22 years since i was born, I think very soon i’ll find out the reason too.

Happy Birthday to me!!!