When my sister called in today to ask if I am excited for my birthday, I told her no one likes to celebrate old age. Well, I used to be excited (which is a huge understatement) for my birthday until I turned twenty five. Now, this day just reminds me of how I am getting older every moment with almost none of my dreams looking to materialize in real life. The only unique thing about this birthday of mine is that I am sick since last few weeks and would spend my day sleeping and watching random videos.
I don’t like the depressing tone this post has attained so I would like to write about the things I did achieve since the time I turned twenty five. These aren’t great achievements in monetary/ professional fronts but have actually helped me in certain inexpressible ways.
- Ever since I turned eighteen I was very confident that I would never learn cooking, like never ever in my lives. Any day I entered kitchen I either broke or burned something, and thus my mom had pretty much debarred me from the kitchen. However in the past two years, I have not only learned to cook but I enjoy it. I have made chicken dishes, Chinese food, local pahadi food from scratch, and can pretty much cook anything (thanks to Youtube).
- I was a Shopaholic, like mad about buying clothes, shoes, bags during my college days, especially with the extra stipend I was getting during my PG. And I used to buy useless things; clothes I would never be comfortable wearing, shoes that hurt, and cosmetics I would never touch etc. I have now controlled my shopping urge. From being called a wasteful spender to pretty much being called a miser I have come a long way.
- Right from childhood, I never hesitated to help anyone with what I had, money, food etc except clothes. I associated memories with the clothes I wore and could never give them away even if I knew someone needed them. I don’t do that anymore. Last year I donated a number of clothes to little girls around my place and it felt good. Someday, if I become able enough to help more people in any way I can, I surely would. It somehow fees like my calling.
- I have had acne all my life. There was a time when my only goal in life was to wake up one day and see a spotless face in the mirror. I have struggled to accept my face the way it is almost my entire adult life. I have let acne run my life, like literally missing meeting friends, attending parties, events, etc because of how ugly I looked. However, slowly I am coming to terms with it. I used make up for the first time last year as I didn’t want myself to get depressed over the disheartening taunts of my relatives. But make up just made me feel more inauthentic. I never used it again. Random people in metro comment on my face and it does hurt me more than it should but I am getting better. There are people in the world who have so many things to worry about than some useless skin disorder. I can live with it.
- I have tried to improve my lifestyle in recent times. I mostly eat healthy. I am pretty sure that I am over my soft drink addiction and I have tried cutting down usage of ecologically harmful products. I wash my face with honey instead of face wash. I wash my clothes with soapnuts (reetha) instead of detergent. I try to buy organic and eco-friendly products wherever possible, especially from micro or small village industries. It not only helps me to lead a healthy life but also helps small farmers or innovators in certain ways.
- Last but not the least; I have learned to be happy. Contrary to how my blog sounds like, I am not that much of a depressed person. There was a time back in college, when I was too angry on people, on my parents, on myself for how life turned out for me even though it wasn’t half bad as it is now. I have controlled my anger to a great extent. I do have episodes of anger /depression/crying a few times even now but I calm down sooner and I don’t brood about LIFE the way I used to. I am okay.
- Oh…. how can I forget, I even learned to change diapers, not just filled with pee but poop too. This has to be my greatest achievement especially as I have no intention to be a mother ever. My mom still can’t believe that I cleaned my potty smeared nephew with my bare hands.
Well, I started writing this yesterday and my birthday will be over in another hour. 31/01/2018 was so different than the day I imagined it to be around a decade ago but what good it would be it life was so predictable!
To many more unpredictable, mysterious years…let’s see where life takes me!!!